Wednesday, May 17, 2006


Nocturnal adventures!

Caution: This post contains content that is graphic in nature. Reader discretion is advised.

It was a dark and stormy night. Actually, though the night was extremely dark, mainly as a result of me having switched off the bedroom lights, it was not stormy at all, at least not in the 'climatic/weather' sense of the word! It was around midnight, and I had retired for the night. I was lying down peacefully, ruminating on the crazy happenings of the day(all my days are full of crazy happenings, hence the rumination is also a daily, or should I say nightly affair)! The music of Gangster was helping me wash away the day's tiredness as usual, when it happened! Suddenly, in the midst of my 'dreaming', I felt something slither on the bed, jumping from one of my legs to the other! I immediately jumped off the bed and shrugged off the creature, while simultaenously switching on the lights, only to discover... a cockroach. For the sake of reference, let's call him Raj! By this time, Raj was very coolly strolling around on my bed, almost as if claiming it as his own. Now, I am a fairly mild-mannered person, and do not have too many issues with other creatures, but only as long as they leave me alone and do not intrude into my space. I am not sure if Raj understood the implications of his act, but I don't think he got too much time to reflect on his sins or repent them. I picked up the nearest newspaper, swept him away from the bed so that he fell on the floor, and then...(if you are the squeamish kind and are still reading this despite my warning, you still have the option of stopping)... and then, I threw the newspaper on Raj and jumped on it repeatedly, squashing Raj completely in the process! Then, I switched off the light, and tried going back to sleep.

Hardly 5 minutes had passed when I felt something land on my face, and roll around in my hair! By now, I was becoming quite an expert at tackling such threats. Threw it off, jumped up and switched on the lights... and it was only then that I realized what had happened. This new cockroach was actually Simran, the mate of the cockroach that I'd just killed, and had come to take revenge for her husband's murder! I grew up on ichhadhaari naag/naagin(cobras who can change shape to become humans) movies like Nagin, Nagina(Sridevi singing Main Teri dushman, dushman tu mera...) etc. and so I know exactly how this happens. You see, cockroaches, just like snakes, have a photographic memory, literally. When you kill a cockroach, your image gets frozen in his eyes, and when his mate comes and discovers that her guy's been killed, she looks into his eyes and finds out who the killer his. Then, she sets out to take revenge! So here she was...! All this flashed before my eyes in a fraction of a second! So now I had no option but to dispose off Simran also, since she would keep following me to the end of the world for revenge. So I did the only thing I could. Located another newspaper, but Simran was not as naive as her mate. She rushed off and hid amongst the shoes that were lying in a corner. So, I, like an experienced hunter, followed her there, and flushed her out. She ran, but soon got cornered. All I can say in my defence is that she died a quick death!

The only crime of Raj was that he chose to jump all over me when he didn't need to and I didn't need it! Poor Simran's crime was that she loved Raj, more than anything else in the world, so much that she fought a 'giant' for the sake of his memory! May their souls rest in peace.

Sunday, May 07, 2006


Another weekend!

After a long time, I have actually started looking forward to weekends. Last weekend saw me go on a shopping binge and blowing up 41K. This weekend didn't involve any spending from my side, but I still had quite a decent time.

Saturday, as usual, was working for us. Have got quite used to having 6-days weeks, but it still hurts when work on Saturdays extends till 10-10.30 PM and you are left with neither the time, nor the energy to indulge in any meaningful leisure activity like partying or watching a movie. My adventures this Saturday started much before I left office. Our bosses and the sales team are on a junket to Abu Dhabi and Dubai, and taking full advantage of the situation, more than half of our team bunked office that day. There were only 4 of us in office that day, and had some stretch deliverables for that day in terms of promo despatches. Now, I normally don't have too many issues with people enjoying while I work(though I resent it obviously), but if it affects my deliverables then I have a big issue. One particular colleague had not only bunked office, but was also not taking phone calls, and work was getting stuck because of it. I got so angry that I SMSd my boss and this colleague's boss in Abu Dhabi, saying that we won't be able to deliver the promos on that day, since that guy was not taking calls. And, we are going home since we are sick of waiting in office, doing nothing! Led to a lot of repurcussions, some of which I will face when the bosses come back tomorrow, but the main thing is that wheels started turning and we were able to despatch 2 out of those 3 promos! That's enough for me!

Was able to leave office by 8.30. Had to go to a friend's place for a party. Went straight there, even though his place is quite close to mine. Didn't have the energy to go home and change(first you climb up 3 floors, change, then climb down, then walk for 5 minutes, then climb up another 3 floors to reach his place... just too much work!)! Had a blast that night. A small group of people in a small room, good music, and lots of booze... you get the picture! The highlight of the party ws this friend of the host, who is also a film photographer like my friend. When this guy came in, we were informed that he has a special tatoo below his right shoulder, that people are ready to pay to see. All of us being of the highly curious variety, we immediately started pestering him to show us the tatoo. "After 4 pegs", he said quite firmly! All right, you have a deal! I took upon myself the huge responsibility of ensuring that his 4 pegs happened asap. He was a Rum & Coke drinker, so I enjoyed making drinks for him of course! 4 pegs happened in record time and the moment arrived! He took off his shirt and we saw... a tatoo of Amitabh Bachchan in shackles, from the movie 'Kaaliya'! A huge round of applause and loud cheering obviously happened, leading to yet another round of protests from the neighbours! A round of drunken singing of Amitabh hits happened before we dispersed for the night!

As is usual after a wild night, yesterday was a relatively calm day! Since Sundays cannot go without me having watched a movie, I went and watched 'Nanny McPhee' with a friend. The basic premise of The Sound of Music/Parichay' with a magical twist, Emma Thompson's script had a lot of scope for a fun kids movie. But it was an OK kind of movie, too cliched and predictable, but still timepass, cute entertainment!

And then, I rested!

May the Force be with you!

Monday, May 01, 2006


Weekend Adventures!

The weekend didn't start on a very bright note. We were supposed to have a 3-day weekend(Sat-Mon), but on Friday, we were informed that Saturday's holiday has been cancelled. Came as quite a shocker, especially since it drastically affected the execution of THE LIST. What is The List??? It is a master document that I and a friend had prepared last weekend, listing down everything that we need to buy in the short, medium and long-term! This ranged from watching 5 movies this weekend, to buying a house some years down the line.... you get the picture! Anyways, one has to make do with what fate dishes out, so the weekend started on Saturday night instead of Friday night!

Came back from work at around 9.30, and went straight to a friend's place, where a movie session had been planned. The movie: Hostel, presented by Quentin 'the God' Tarantino! It is a movie about 3 guys backpacking through Europe, who land up in a hostel in Slovakia looking for hot, 'freely-available' women, who are supposed to love American men! What befalls them there is the story! It is not a movie for the squeamish, and it's best watched with a group of friends, and lights switched off. Saw this much gore after a long time, and none of us had the stomach for dinner after the movie! Great stuff!

The agenda for Sunday was shopping. I had to buy a new mobile and a music system, and clothes! Also, me and a friend had to explore some furniture shops to look for some basic furniture for our respective houses. The key learning for the day was that shopping is extremely serious and extremely tiring! Ended the day at 10 PM, having bought:

a) A new mobile: Nokia N70 for 20K

b) A Sony Music System: some model no. with 100W X 2 RMS main speakers, and 40WX3 woofers etc. In Delhi terms, it was 3500W PMPO(pronounced 'pumpo' back home in Delhi)! Also has a 3-DVD changer btw! The damage: 20.5K

c) Since I was buying a music system, I thought I might as well buy a couple of audio CDs also. The inaugural CD was... all right, you guessed it: Gangster. And the 2nd CD was Rang De Basanti. Got a bonus CD along with Gangster: Emran Rules- Superhit songs of Emran Hashmi. Yipeeee!!!

Was so keen on getting the music system on Sunday night itself that I very bravely(and stupidly, as you will soon see) told the shopkeeper that I will carry it along with me since he said he would be able to deliver only the next day. Now the system weighs 26 Kg as per the packaging, and my house happens to be on the 3rd floor of a lift-less building. I had assumed that I would just tell the watchman for help and we will carry it upstairs together, but he started doing some nautanki(street-play), so I told him to chuck it, and carried the box myself. As if the weight of the box wasn't enough, it was so wide that it didn't fit into the width of the stairs. Hence, I had to carry it upstairs while I was sideways! Great fun... my back was groaning by the time I reached the 3rd floor. Remind me never to try such stunts again!

Yesterday was slightly less hectic. Obviously, since I had no energy left to do the rest of the shopping as per The List. I had the option of watching only one movie in the afternoon, so I obviously went and watched Gangster. Don't ask me about the movie pls. It wasn't too bad, but it could have been much much better if the heroine Kangana knew how to speak, and Emran Hashmi knew how to act. Kangana had such a superbly complex character, and she made a right royal mess of it. Her dialogue delivery is quite easily the worst I have seen in recent times. The only saving grace of the movie, apart from the haunting music of course, was Shiney Ahuja. He was simply explosive, and faltered only once, in a scene where he was supposed to break down and cry. Couldn't help comparing this scene with Aamir's completely natural breaking down in RDB, and realized that this is what separates the men from the boys! Barring that, he was great. I have said this before and I am saying it again- Shiney Ahuja is a face to watch out for!

Oops, I missed out on some more shopping. Went to Crossword on Sunday. Since I always buy something when I go to a bookshop, I bought a couple of Just William books. I am making a collection of William books, buy 2 at a time, and buy another 2 once I finish the previous ones. Yesterday, went to the new Landmark store that has opened near my place. It's huge, crazy collection, with two rows of just Science Fiction and Fantasy! Inaugurated the store with the Star Wars trilogy(in book form), and Terry Pratchett's Johnny Maxwell Trilogy!

I wish today was also a holiday, so I could spend some time with my books and my new baaja(music system), rather than wasting away my life in office! But no sweat, weekends aur bhi aayengee!(more weekends will come)!

May the Force be with you!

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