Jagah Dil Mein Honi Chahiye

The Secret Agent

2010-05-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Today's words are: beach, mojito, snow, panther, labyrinth. Really hard-pressed for time today, but will not cheat on my resolve, hence, will attempt to use all the 5 words in one sentence and complete the story. And here we gooooooo.....

I was sitting on a beach, sipping lazily on the mojito that the waiter, who actually belonged to the Blue Panther gang, had served me, my mind like a labyrinth, wondering how to outwit my enemies next week in the snow capped peaks of the Himalayas, when I was stuck by a flash of lightening!

The 'story' of my life!

2010-05-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

And so, it's time for yet another beginning. As Robert Jordan would say, it is not 'the only' beginning, but it is definitely 'a' beginning. Won't waste too much time on where I have been, to cut a long story short(for a change), got married to the 'new friend' mentioned in my last blog post, and have been living happily ever after :-) Have been feeling the itch to start writing again(it's been 3 years since my last post), but me being the lazy me, it's been a story of procrastinating between procrastinations, till the time my wife gave me an ultimatum last evening to start writing again or face the music. Just like any self-respecting male of the species, I decided to 'be a man' and start writing from today itself.

Here's how this is going to work(hopefully). Every day, my wife will be giving me 5 random words. I have to construct a story using those 5 words as the base. the words for today are:
Brook, Forest, Wizard, Cottage, Mount Crescent(what's that?). So, here goes nothing...

The Wizard Of Mount Crescent

Long long ago, in a forest not so far away(on Mount Crescent as a matter of fact, which is in New Hampshire), there lived a young Wizard named Stoppgappi. He was not an exceptionally great wizard, since he did not own a pointed hat(and made do with a baseball cap instead) or a flying broom(having to depend on his Hero Ranger bicycle for his transportation needs), but he was all the forest, it's denizens, and this author had, so we have to make do with him. Stoppgappi lived in a quaint cottage by a small brook in the forest, with no one to give him company except his Bai, Diana, who used to come in once a day every morning to do the dishes, scrub the floor, wash his clothes, and steal the 'desi ghee', in reverse order of preference!

Our story starts on a random winter morning, when Stoppgappi woke with the first knock of the Bai. He got out of his 'rajaai' and ran to get the door before she went back thinking(conveniently) that he wasn't home. As the Bai came in, the door remained open behind her. It was then that Stoppgappi noticed something amiss with the brook. He quickly slipped into his slippers and promptly slipped on the slippery floor, where the Bai had just started doing 'pocha'. But, being a wizard(even though an average one) has it's advantages. Since he had also slipped on his fur robe, he managed to escape unhurt, since the padding of the robe cushioned his fall.

Anyways, coming back to the brook, there was something weird about the colour of the water, it was blood red . Now everyone knows that wizards are the protectors of the forest and all the creatures living in it. And Stoppgappi took his responsibility very very seriously. He immediately asked the Bai to leave, locked his cottage, took out his cycle from the garage, and started cycling uphill to try and trace the source of the abomination. He toiled on and on for almost half the day, since Mount Crescent is a high peak, and finally reached the source of the brook. Unlike other brooks, this particular brook was coming out of a dark cave near the top the mountaion. Stoppgappi stopped his cycle, dismounted, threw up(it was quite a steep climb and he was not in the best of shape after all), took out his magic wand(he was a wizard, remember?), and started walking towards the cave. The blood in the brook had made him wary, and so he approached very very carefully.

As he entered the cave, tentatively skirting the water flowing out of it so that his new suede shoes would not get damaged, he spoke a spell softly while simultaenously switching on a battery-operated bulb on the tip of the wand. He could not illuminate his wand by magic, but the creatures in the forest need not know that. He walked on for around 200 metres through the dank, dark corridor, and suddenly, the darkness gave way to bright light, the cobwebs gave way to emulsion-painted walls, and his wariness gave way to horror. For inside a huge well-lit hall that he had stumbled into, he found.....Diana! Only, she was now at least 80 metres tall, and surrounded by 12 other females(for want of a better word), who were not that short themself!

"Diana, what is the meaning of all this?", cried out Stoppgappi as loud as he could, since he was not sure whether his voice would even reach her. But the cave was accoustically like a home theatre system, so his voice came out like that through a loudspeaker in a Ramlila. Diana looked down and noticed a speck, who, on closer inspection, seemed remarkably similar to her young master Stoppgappi. Now, if it were any other man, she would have immediately stomped him to powder, but this was her master, and she had, after all, eaten his salt(in addition to desi ghee of course). She mumbled a few words and immediately shrank to her 'normal' height. Stoppgappi was livid with anger."Diana, what have you been up to, and how many people have you killed that there is so much blood in the water?", asked Stoppgappi, full of righteous indignation. "Blood? Killed? What are you saying Stoppu baba?", bleated Diana in her meekest voice. The wizard was still bristling with anger, and started shouting at her again- "Don't pretend to be so inncocent Diana. The blood in the brook is sufficient evidence of your guilt!" It was then that Diana noticed the red colour of the water. And started laughing.....and laughing....and laughing!!!

Stoppgappi's expressions changed from anger, to surprise, to slight amount of fear. He was quite sure that he would be able to manage Diana and her friends under normal circumstances, but he was not sure he could take on a psycho woman who could grow up to height of 80 metres, especially on an empty stomach(he hadn't had time for breakfast, and had thrown up a few minutes ago, remember?). Diana put one hand into her pocket, and Stoppgappi stiffened. She was obviously going to take out some hideous weapon which she would use against him, and the wizard brought up his magic wand in anticipation, ready to say 7 different spells at a moment's notice to protect himself. Diana fumbled around in her pocket for a few seconds, and then, suddenly, took out her hand with a flourish. "What is this magic potion that you are holding in your hand", said the wizard, "I've never seen anything like this in my long and illustrious wizarding career of 6 months!" Diana walked towards him....and smiled. "This is known as a nail paint amongst you humans", said Diana. Stoppgappi stopped in his tracks,"You humans boley toh?" "You still haven't got it, hai na?". Diana said softly with what seemed to the wizard to be a menacing tone, "think about my name again, and you will get your answer. Diana, as in Daayan-a, I am actually a Daayan(demon)."

Stoppgappi almost fainted with fear, and if he had had his breakfast, I am sure he would have thrown up again, as it is, he felt bile fill his mouth. He had studied about these 'Daayans' in his 'Hideous creatures and how to handle them' class in wizarding school. The chapter on 'How to deal with Daayans' consisted of just one word: 'RUN'! But fear had frozen him in his tracks, his feet felt like lead, he tried to think of any spell that might help him escape from Diana, but his mind kept throwing up just one line-"Bhoot pishaach nikat nahi aawe, Mahavir jab naam sunaawe", from the Hanuman Chalisa, which, he had been told by his granny, was the best weapon to fight off ghosts and demons.

Diana took another step towards him. She had stopped laughing now. She was still hoding the nail paint in her hand, which she was pointing towards him like a gun. She took another step towards him, and Stoppgappi finally found the courage to start screaming! And while he was in the middle of this mother of all screams, he realized that there were many other screams mingling with his scream, 13 to be precise. He stopped screaming and realized that all the 'daayans' had a petrified look on their faces and were screaming their lungs out. "Silence", he shouted loudly enough to drown out their schemes, and there really was silence. "Now Diana, please tell me what is going on", he asked her in his sternest 'me Master you Bai' tone. And Diana started speaking...

"We are a family of 13 daayans, all sisters. Contrary to popular perception, we do not eat humans or animals, in fact, we are pure vegetarians, just like Brahmans/Gujjus/Marwaris/Jains amongst you humans. We have special powers that allow us to reduce our size from 0600 to 1800 hours. To earn our living, we work as Bais in various households during the day, and get back to our home(this cave) by the evening so that we do not get caught and lynched by humans, or devoured by animals . We are the last of our species, and just want to live out the rest of our days peacefully. So please please please don't hurt us or inform the other humans about us, after all, maine aapka namak khaaya hai."

Throughout this explanation, Stoppgappi was standing with his mouth agape, too flabbergasted to say anything. When Diana finally stopped, he found his tongue again,"I don't believe you because there's a critical flaw in your explanation." "What's that?. whimpered Diana. "The blood in the brook."

"Ohh that!", said Diana with a sigh of relief,"why do you think I was showing you this nailpaint? We got 50 tonnes of these yesterday from the market, to try on(aakhir daayan bhi insaan hoti hain, unke seene mein bhi dil hota ai, unki bhi kuchh tamannaayein hoti hain), and my sister Hidimba accidentally sat on the sack containing the nail paint this morning!"

This blog is not Lawaaris!

2007-07-10T22:31:00.001-07:00

In the end, it was not the lack of time, neither the lack of mindspace, that lead to this blog almost becoming Lawaaris...it was just plain, old boredom and laziness, my arch-nemesis both! 'So how have you suddenly come back from the dead?', my dear reader friends might just ask me! Well, it was a combination of two factors: a) A new friend who has been after my life for the last few days to revive this blog, and b) my old blog-friend AFJ, whose blog I visited today for the 1st time post the decline and fall of the Roman Empire, who tagged me on her blog, and publicly asked me to do the tag 'for old times' sake'! Well, noblesse oblige and all that, this being a time as good as any, I have decided to get a bit more on my blog front! Yeah yeah, haven't we heard it before? What can I possibly say to convince you guys! We shall see what we shall see :-) So on to the tag. 9 things about myself out of which 1 is a lie. Keh do yeh jhooth hai!!! Sorry sorry, I digress. Let's start the tag...

1. I am one of the laziest souls on Mother Earth, inertia being my middle name! I keep on procrastinating till I can, then just give up at times if too much time has passed or I have got too bored!

2. I don't convert to new ideas very easily, but once I am convinced of the strength and validity of an idea, I lend my complete, whole-hearted support to it!

3. I love the mountains much more than I love the sea. Maybe one reason is that I get exposed to a lot of sea here in Bombay, while mountains are a tad bit difficult to come by!

4. I call myself 'mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent'. That is because I am a pushover in most matters, especially in my interactions with my close friends. But there are occassions when I feel the urgent urge to assert myself, when unfortunately, instead of turning into Superman, I get all mixed up and become the Incredible Hulk instead!

5. I am incredibly bad at decision-making, especially in my day-to-day personal life. Often, the biggest decision facing me, with the potential of changing the destinies of nations is: Where should we have lunch today?

6. Despite being a self-proclaimed movie buff, I am yet to see some of the all-time greats of Indian and Western cinema, including Mother India and Mughal-e-Azam!

7. Mess tends to accumulate around me, and I notice it only when it has become quite unmanageable. My office desk is a typical case in point.

8. I find it very difficult to watch horror films, get quite scared after the movie is over because my over-active imagination comes into play. I'd slept with my room lights on when I had come back at night after watching Ramu's 'Bhoot' for example!

9. I am almost an anarchist when it comes to my views on the Indian Polity, the Govt. and it's interference in people's lives. And I am not referring to the big issues, I am talking about helmet laws for example- How can the Govt force me to wear a helmet? If I am involved in an accident and die, it is my problem, it is not affecting the Govt. in any way, so why force me?

That's about it for now, have to get back to work. It's a modest start, but a start nevertheless. Aage aage dekho hota hai kya :-)

May the Force be with you!

A gifted happy birday and more- Part I

2007-01-03T20:51:00.000-08:00

First things first. I am not sure if Blogger has a rule of deactivating people's blogs if they do not write a post for a certain period of time, but I have tried my best to find out by not writing for so long. It's official now, your blog can survive inactivity for at least 2 months and 11 days! You guys can thank me later for conducting this extremely critical and dangerous experiment for the greater good of humanity.

I am not even going to attempt to explain why I haven't been writing on my blog. I'm sure that by now everyone remembers my usual excuses by heart! Will come straight to the events(pre and post) surrounding a landmark day in the history of the world, the 30th happy birday of yours truly. The buildup to the occassion was full of remarks from various 'friends' about how old '30' is! I often went into a flashback mode, remembering Jeetendra starring in the 30-plus capsules advertisement, and me and my friends talking about how people over 30 would actually be needing pills to survive the day! This was nostalgia I could easily do without. Anyways, as the great Lord Budhha said,"Que Sera Sera", so I started planning on my happy birday celebrations quite happily.

While planning the celebrations, a logistical difficulty came in the way. I was leaving for Bangalore on 28th evening(28th being my happy birday, which one was it??? Ohhh yes, 30th!), and so couldn't throw a party for my office friends on that day. Chose a compromise formula: Party for office public on the 27th to herald in the day, and party on 28th night for personal public in Bangalore. In the process, the personal public who were in Bombay and hence couldn't be at either of the parties would have to settle for just my best wishes!

27th night: 9PM onwards.
Venue: My boss' house.

Some 10 people went to my boss ka ghar straight from office. I didn't want to take everyone out for drinking since 2 such parties would have broken my back financially, and I would have had to girvi rakho my do beegha zameen in my village but I would not be able to reclaim the land ever, beacuse hand-held rickshaws are no longer present in Calcutta! Nothing much to report from the party, had fun, got lots of gifts, cut a cake at midnight... Will come to the consolidated gift-list a bit later.

28th night: 10PM onwards.
Venue: Firangi Paani and Sahab Sindh Sultan in Bangalore.

Reached Bangalore at around 9.20PM, our flight having been delayed by around an hour. Two people had come to pick us up, some 6-7 had been drinking in Firangi Paani(a pub) since 8PM. The plan was that we all would have a couple of drinks there, and then go to an attached posh Indian restaurant called Sahab Sindh Sultan(I think)! Anyways, we reached the venue at around 10PM, and then....the legendary partying spirit of Bangalore kicked in. Met up with everyone and had just started drinking when a waiter from the restaurant came and 'requested' us to move to our table in the restaurant since the last food order was at 10.45! We tried to stall, but one of the greatest unsolved mysteries since Creation is: How do you reason with a stuck gramophone record, otherwise known as a Bangalore restaurant waiter? 10.55- we were out of the pub and inside the restaurant, being forced to give 'last orders' at gunpoint. The funniest part: We were kicked out of the restaurant at exactly 11.45PM since 'the cops were coming'! Viva Bangalooru!!!

Thus started our Bangalore New Year's Trip. This was just the beginning. On this trip, we were a part of our own version of Bigg Boss(Big Brother's Indian version), and Animal Planet. Watch this space for more on what I have labelled as 'Our Big Fat Soap Opera'.

May the Force be with you.

Main Zinda Hoon

2006-10-24T05:19:00.000-07:00

Was just going through a script on Director Sudhir Mishra when i came across this title. Since it is quite apt for my comeback post, I decided to borrow it for this particular post. My apologies to Mr. Mishra!

So, where have I been??? Nowhere actually. Just haven't got down to writing, mostly because of the lack of time, and to some extent due to pure, unadulterated laziness. My apologies to everyone who has been writing sarcastic comments about this on my blog as well as on their own :-)

This has been one long weekend, with just Monday spoiling the opportunity for getting 5 holidays in a row. And yes, I did not go home for Diwali this year also!!! The idea was to rest in Bombay. But as always, holidays are becoming more hectic than work-days, what with all the socializing, drinking sessions, movie watching et al!

Watched both Don and Jaan-e-mann over the weekend...obviously! Don on Friday evening and Jaan-e-mann on Saturday afternoon. Didn't have too many expectations from either of them, but one of them did manage to surprise me.

Don first, since it came first in the chronological order of my watching it. Frankly, I still haven't got the point- why did Farhan Akhtar make this movie? I am sure that an acclaimed director like him, with an established scriptwriter for a father, would not find it too difficult to find an original script on which to make a movie. But as the great Lord Buddha said,"Vinaash kaale vipreet buddhi"(When disaster is destined, you start making stupid decisions- very loosely)! Did Farhan not know that people will compare this movie with the original at every step? Was he not aware that SRK is no Amitabh Bachchan, Priyanka is no Zeenat Aman, and worst of all, Arjun Rampal is no Pran- Koi Chance Nahi! The characters were the same, the dialogues were the same, the songs were the same, so what did Farhan Akhtar have to do for making the movie? This guy seems to be lazier than even me! One twist(a good one, I must admit) does not, and cannot make this movie original. All said and done, it is as good or as bad as a remixed song, and we all know my views on them!!!

Jaan-e-mann, on the other hand, was a revelation. It is a movie that everyone who appreciates and enjoys Bollywood kitsch will absolutely love, and that is the precise reason why my old bete-noire Mayank Shekhar(who, incidentally, does reviews for OUR channel)has given it just 1.5 stars while giving 3.5 stars to Don. He is the same guy who trashed Main Hoon Na on the front page of Mid Day on the day of it's release. IT's all a matter of the right sensibilities. But wait, I digress. Jaan-e-mann is a movie which you should not watch. Yes, you read me right. It is a movie which you should allow the wonder-struck child in you to watch. It is an experimental movie in terms of the treatment, and if the windows of your mind are open, trust me you will laugh through the movie and clap joyfully after every two minutes. It is one of those movies. But I should not forget to mention Akshay Kumar and Salman Khan- they make a great pair, as always. Preity looks old in places. The songs, if you listen to them on a CD, are very ordinary. But within the movie, they are just perfect in terms of the music, the lyrics and above all, the picturization.

That's all for now folks. A belated Happy Diwali and non-belated Eid Mubarak to all of you. May the Force be with you.

p.s. A note for my non-Hindi speaking readers: The title of this post means- I am Alive!

Munna Bhai meets Hrishida

2006-09-04T01:53:00.000-07:00

The difference is reducing! The gap between my last post and the one before that was 30 days. My present post is being written 26 days after the last one. At this rate, I am sure to reach an optimum average of one post a week in around six months. Yahooooo!!!

Don't have anything in particular to write, have been kept quite busy by work, and hence have hardly had any time to myself. But one of the fringe benefits of working in the entertainment industry, especially a Hindi film channel is that watching the much-anticipated big releases becomes a must! Hence, saw KANK on the night it was released, and the same was the case with Lage Raho Munna Bhai. Enough has been written about KANK in various fora by a variety of commentators, and there is really not much that I can add to pan the movie! Two anecdotes are all that I want to list down:

a) While watching the film, heard 2 girls, sitting in different parts of the hall, say aloud the same thing: "I wish I had a husband like Abhishek(the character)!

b) Towards the end of the movie, when the soporific title song is playing, I simply dozed off for 5 minutes! I know it is pretty insulting for any film, but I just couldn't help it!

Lage Raho Munna Bhai, on the other hand, was everything that I was expecting, and more! I have said it before and I am saying it again, Vidhu Vinod Chopra is one filmmaker who is a genius in the art of storytelling. Even when he produces a movie, you can clearly see his stamp on the film. But Rajkumar Hirani deserves full credit for scripting and directing this modern masterpiece. What a film! More than anything else, the reason I loved the film so much was that it is so 'Indian' in nature! The values that we grew up on- the values of honesty, non-violence, unconditional love, being happy at small things, that somewhere went missing in our mad rush to overtake the world...those values find a place of pride in LRM! That's about as feel-good as it can get! As for the acting- Sanjay Dutt rocks as Munna Bhai(as usual), Vidya Balan proves that Parineeta was no fluke, by playing one of the most lovable female lead characters in recent times. But it is Arshad 'circuit' Warsi who is the real star of the film. Simply brilliant- amazing timing, voice modulation, and expressions. Just listen to him in the brilliantly picturized 'Samjho ho hi gaya' song, you'll understand what I am saying!

Hrishida passed away last week. No, I did not know him personally, but it seems like someone very close to me is no more. His movies have made me smile for so long, it seems as if he used to make movies for me, so that I could laugh when the chips were down. His movies have made me cry so often, it was almost as if he understood that my emotions needed a vent! Amitabh Bachchan acted in 8 films directed by Hrishida, the most he did with any director(jointly with Manmohan Desai, and he did some of his best work, some of it not very widely known) with him. Most of us have seen him in Chupke Chupke, Abhimaan and Mili. See him in Alaap if you ever get the opportunity! No one could make Dharmendra look as good as Hrishida. If you don't believe me, watch Anupama and Satyakam! Rajesh Khanna was a superstar, but he was a great actor only in Hrishida's films like Anand, Bawarchi and Namak Haram(All right, I admit, he was very good in Asit Sen's Khamoshi and Shakti Samanta's Aradhana and Amar Prem also, but you get the picture!)

Rajkumar Hirani openly admits that the Munna Bhai series is spiritually inspired by Anand and the whole genre of Hrishida movies. Somehow, his statement doesn't surprise me! May your soul always keep smiling Hrishida, and thanks for all the smiles that you gave us :-)

Weirdos from another planet!

2006-08-09T02:01:00.000-07:00

July 10th. That was the day on which I last wrote on this blog. The reasons for this one month hiatus are not hard to find. It started with the Indian government's ban on blogspot, because of which Indian ISPs didn't allow me to access my blog. Though the misplaced ban was lifted within a few days, the ISP for our company coolly continues the ban till today. I still can't access any blog except through torpark, which, I am told, is a proxy server(whatever that means)!

The other reason I don't even need to repeat, it's my standard excuse :-)

Anyways, while I was away, I was tagged by AFJ(who herself has been out of action for centuries), to list down six weird things about myself. Not too difficult a task, people who know me would say! So, here it is, in no particular order:

1) If someone comments on my food when I am in the process of eating it, I leave the food item there and then. Don't like anybody saying "don't eat this or you'll become fat" kind of things!

2) I talk to myself, aloud! Actually, I don't believe this is weird at all. I have checked it up with a lot of people and I now have a theory on this. The theory is: Almost everyone talks aloud to himself/herself, but only a few of us come out of the closet and admit it openly.

3) I have this violent hatred towards that green leafy food(food???) item that we call dhaniya, the Maharshtrians call kothambir, and the English speaking world knows as coriander or cilantro. In fact, I am a member of this global online community called ihatecilantro.com! Can't stand even one leaf in my food, and am known to return food in restaurants if I detect a single leaf in it, despite me having warned the waiter while placing the order itself.

4) Whenever I am agitated or nervous, I start rubbing my hands together. This habit has rubbed off on non-agitated, non-nervous times also, so you will often see me rubbing my hands together for no apparent reason. In many circles, I am recognized by my hand-rubbing habit rather than my face!

5) I have this inexplicable 'need' to come to office by 10AM everyday, howsover late I might have stayed up at night, working or partying. What makes it even more weird is that it is perfectly acceptable in our office to come in at any time, as long as you are delivering your work according to deadlines.

6) And finally, my OCD for grammar- it's too well-documented for me to repeat :-)

That does it. Got stuck towards the middle, and for a minute, I actually thought that I had only 3-4 weird habits. Then I introspected and said, "Naaaaah. not possible!" The balance ones flowed quite easily after that.

That's all folks, I hope I don't wait for another month before writing my next post!

May the Force be with you.

Tag tag ki baat hai!

2006-07-10T22:17:00.000-07:00

A sure-fire way to write when you haven't been getting too much time to think is to execute a tag. Thankfully, a tag has indeed fallen on my lap, by lazy leo this time. Have been avoiding doing it for some days, but have decided to finally do it today. So, here goes nothing...

I am thinking about
a drastic change, and wondering if so much stress is really worth it!

I said
what I believed was right, and to hell with diplomacy!

I want
to make a movie, write a book, teach, make a career out of reading and watching movies!

I wish
I could do something about the Shiv Sena goons holding my adopted city hostage, about the priests demanding a probe into the 'desecration' of the Sabrimala temple because a woman had touched the idol, about our Government which believes that merit is a four-lettered word, while caste is cool!

I miss
the lazy, bindaas life of my MBA days, mom's food, LIFE!

I hear
the rain falling on the roof and it makes me happy.

I wonder
if the winner of this rat-race will be a rat or a human!

I regret
nothing major. Would still take the same decisions, because they were all my decisions.

I am
MAD!

I dance
when I am out drinking with friends and Amitabh/Govinda numbers start playing!

I sing
anytime, anywhere.

I cry
alone.

I am not always
perfect, only most of the time :-)

I write
whenever I have a good story to tell.

I confuse
people who know me superficially. To my friends, I am extremely predictable.

I need
to be less wired up!

I should
do what my heart tells me, not what I 'should' do!

I finish
at least one book a week.

I tag
nobody! As I've already mentioned before, no Roman volunteers on my blog.

May the Force be with you.

Hot tea on a wet morning!

2006-06-26T21:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, that is what I am doing right now, having a cup of steaming hot tea(with extra milk & sugar, North Indian style), while it is raining outside. Monsoons have finally arrived here in Bombay, it's been raining heavily(though intermittently) for the last two days now. While we all will start cursing these rains pretty soon, right now it is a welcome break from the unbearably humid heat of Bombay over the last couple of weeks.

When it started raining on Saturday evening, I decided to take some affirmative action of my own. My bai was supposed to come in by 9 to make dinner. Seeing the weather, I felt a deep craving for pakoras. So I called up my friendly neighbourhood grocer and ordered for the following:
1. 1/2 Kilo Besan
2. 1/2 Kg bottle of Kissan Tomato Ketchup
3. Bread

I'd already checked and found that I already had onions in my kitchen. Preparations complete, I picked up a book and started waiting for my bai, while watching TV simultaenously. 9PM- No sign of her; 9.15PM, still no sign...9.30PM- Where the hell is she??? Finally, at 10, I get a call from her,"Aap ghar pe hain???"(are you at home???) "Of course I am, you ass, what do you think???". "Baarish bahut ho rahi hai aur merre paas chhata nahi hai, to main agar nahi aaoon to chalega kya?"(It's raining heavily and I don't have an umbrella, so is it OK if I don't come?). As if I had a choice...So, my pakora dreams went bust and I turned to the saviour of all bachelors across the world- Domino's! Having ordered my stuff, I turned back to the TV, continuing with the World Cup match. After some time, the hunger pangs in my stomach indicated that it was 'slightly' more than the promised half-hour now... checked the watch to find that 45 minutes had passed since I ordered. Finally, the bell rang and I welcomed the pizza delivery guy with open arms and an empty stomach! "Won't I get the pizza for free now?", I asked the guy mildly. The man made a rondu face and said that since it was raining heavily, he could not drive fast without risking his life and limb. So, he would be grateful if I didn't press for the free-bit. I relented, gave hima 500/- Rupee note and asked for the change(which incidentally I had instructed while placing the order). Surprise no. 3(No. 1 being the bai ditching me, and No. 2 being the pizza guy being 15 min late)- No change! Promising to be back with the change in some time, he went away(thankfully without taking the 500/- ka note, the significance of which you will soon find out)! I sat down again, to savour my pizza, but fate had something else in store for me. I had barely taken two bites when I discovered a long thread of hair inside the pizza... a woman's hair definitely, unless it was a guy with REALLY long hair!

Called up Domino's immediately and blasted the girl who took my call. She offered me a free pizza, but I insisted on her connecting me to their manager. She asks me to hold, and asks someone,"Kya karoon, yeh customer bahut barh-barh kar raha hai!"(What do I do, the customer is blabbering unnecessarily)! I lost it then, didn't say anything to her, made her connect me to the guy in-charge and scared the daylights out of him, including threats of calling up their Delhi HO and e-mailing to their corporate HO! Don't know whether it will make any difference to them though, it's an issue of attitude, an issue of treating customers like sh#$ while proclaiming that they are kings, an issue of not giving a damn about the basic precepts of service industry! Still, maybe I should write to them...

Sunday morning arrived with a fresh blessing- I finally got to have my pakoras, fresh from the kadhai! Mmmmmm... heavenly!!! Went to watch Krrish in the afternoon. I really don't know what to say about the movie. All I will say is that special effects do not a movie make! A good movie needs a story, and the art of story-telling, combined with good acting and a great music score! Unfortunately, none of these factors are prtesent in Krrish! It's looooong, it's ohhh-so-boring, Hrithik looks good but hams throughout the movie, Priyanka is irritatingly bad(you can compare her to Kareena in Khushi... yes, that bad), and Rekha... ohhhhhhh, what has happened to you??? The less said about the boring songs, the better! And how can I forget the horribly obscene product placement of Bournvita, Tide and Lay's!!!

The length of this post would have told you that the hot tea is long since over, and it is time I got a refill. It's the weather, can't help it! Let's enjoy the rains before they make our lives messy again!!!

May the Force be with you!

PITS & more!

2006-06-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

I know I know, it's been more than a month since I last wrote. But in my defense, though the 1st 3 weeks' absence was due to my usual excuse of lack of time and mind-space, the last one week is another story altogether. Have been wanting to write since last Monday, had to narrate my adventures over the last weekend during our off-site conference in Lonavala. Unfortunately, my bete-noire of old has been conspiring to stop me from writing. His name- TECHNOLOGY!

Actually, I shouldn't be too surprised. It's been after my life since time immemorial. I barely used to pass my computer programming exams. In fact, I passed my Xth Board exams in computers by taking our computer teacher's help in writing the program given to us in practicals. Not something that I am too proud of, but it's a curse that I have been blessed with, so I have to do whatever I can to survive. I think I once mentioned the reaction of my old friends to my first mobile phone. The day I got the phone, I messaged some friends in Bombay, informing them that I had bought a mobile(This was MUCH after the rest of the civilized world had started using one, btw). I got at least 3 messages in reply, asking me about whose help I had taken to send a SMS. Yes, it's always been that bad! I once read a beautifully apt term for it- PITS, that is, Persistently Intimidating Technology Syndrome!

This time, it is the internet acting funny with me. First, my blog page has decided to start taking it's own decisions. The left hand side-bar has disappeared, taking along with it all my links, my archives, as well as half my blog page.Anyways, as the great Lord Budhha said, "Time is the biggest healer", so, leaving the job of repairing the blog to this master-healer, I thought I would at least write something last Monday, but surprise surprise, blogger wouldn't open. Day after day, the same problem continued. Then finally, on Saturday, blogger finally deigned to open it's doors to me. Counting my blessings, I started writing this looooong post on our off-site escapades. But I had conveniently forgotten how technology has a way of getting back at me. Half-way through this novella, I had to rush off on some urgent work within the office only, but when I came back after 15 minutes or so, what do I find??? My computer had automatically shutdown for some virus updates, taking everything that I had written along with it! I know when I am licked, so I decided not to write anything more on Saturday, and the detailed Lonavala battle will have to wait for my official autobiography to see the light of day. However, I can't help writing about 3 highlights of the trip:

a) There were around 30 of us from the channel, including our sales team from around the country, people we didn't know even existed! After the gyaan speeches by various HODs during the day on Friday, a colleague and I were supposed to organise an Antakshari at night. However, there was a DJ blasting music, and a dance floor waiting for us, so sensing the mood of the people, we decided to postpone it to the next day. Had a blast, dancing and drinking, for 3 hours, and when the music ended at around midnight due to stupid rules, our CEO threw a googly at us. Since, no one was in a mood for leaving the room, and everyone was in high spirits, he asked us to have the Antakshari there and then. Never one to avoid a challenge(as long as it is FUN), we accepted. The group was divided into two teams- Sales and Non-Sales, with our CEO and Business Head being a part of the Sales Team. Imagine the scenario: a bunch of drunk, boisterous people as participants, equally(if not more) sloshed anchors, and a totally out colleague as the scorer, who lost track of the score in the first round itself. I conducted the show with a glass in my hand throughout, and since our Antakshari comprised of various rounds like identifying the mukhda from the antara(which we sang), dumb-charades to identify songs etc., you can imagine the bedlam that happened. At one point, I actually shouted at our CEO to maintain discipline, and at another, he threatened me using the 'I' word(your 'increment' letters are due)! The Non-sales team(where my loyalties lay) won, and everyone dispersed to keep the night going on in smaller groups.

b) Day 2: Presentations to the HODs by small groups, on how to make the channel no. 1 in 6 months. As expected, when our team's turn came, the laptop refused to work, and so we had to look around for another one. Meanwhile, I wrote 'Rukawat ke liye khed hai' on the white board and prayed! The presentation started. Each slide of our's had a Hindi film song as the heading, and when the 1st slide came on, we got a request from the audience(Kunal. I'll kill him for this). "Sing it out", he said. I don't like letting people down, so I sang "jhalak dikhla ja.." in typical Himesh Reshammiya style, with mike, but without the cap. Similarly, the singing continued for all the other slides. At the end of the presentation, I don't know what came over me, but I deviated from the prepared script, and just blurted out that there were a lot of people and processes related issues, we all knew what they were, and we had to address them fast, before it was too late. Otherwise, all these presentations and plans would just remain dreams. Two repurcussions: the crowd started clapping, and our business head got senti and didn't take it too kindly, rebuking me in public that we had not taken the presentation too seriously. The larger point got missed in this whle spat, and our claim of being a fun and irreverent channel died an unfortunate death that day!

Day 3: On our return journey, we decided to play an impromptu game of dumb-charades in the bus, again Sales vs. Non-sales. After a couple of rounds, the Sales head got very excited and challenged us that the next movie that he gave would be almost impossible for us to act out. It was my turn to act, so I went with some trepidation. He gave me the movie with a smirk on his face. I went up to my team, and acted out just 3 things: Hindi, old movie, I love it! We got the answer in just 2 attempts- my team knows me too well. The first guess was Khamoshi, and when I shook my head and indicated'the other one', bingo! Anupama! I have never seen anyone so zapped as our sales head was at that time!

I am going to end this post here, don't want to stretch my luck. Just because the net has not crashed till now doesn't mean that it won't do so in the next one minute! May the Force be with you!

Nocturnal adventures!

2006-05-17T21:26:00.000-07:00

Caution: This post contains content that is graphic in nature. Reader discretion is advised.

It was a dark and stormy night. Actually, though the night was extremely dark, mainly as a result of me having switched off the bedroom lights, it was not stormy at all, at least not in the 'climatic/weather' sense of the word! It was around midnight, and I had retired for the night. I was lying down peacefully, ruminating on the crazy happenings of the day(all my days are full of crazy happenings, hence the rumination is also a daily, or should I say nightly affair)! The music of Gangster was helping me wash away the day's tiredness as usual, when it happened! Suddenly, in the midst of my 'dreaming', I felt something slither on the bed, jumping from one of my legs to the other! I immediately jumped off the bed and shrugged off the creature, while simultaenously switching on the lights, only to discover... a cockroach. For the sake of reference, let's call him Raj! By this time, Raj was very coolly strolling around on my bed, almost as if claiming it as his own. Now, I am a fairly mild-mannered person, and do not have too many issues with other creatures, but only as long as they leave me alone and do not intrude into my space. I am not sure if Raj understood the implications of his act, but I don't think he got too much time to reflect on his sins or repent them. I picked up the nearest newspaper, swept him away from the bed so that he fell on the floor, and then...(if you are the squeamish kind and are still reading this despite my warning, you still have the option of stopping)... and then, I threw the newspaper on Raj and jumped on it repeatedly, squashing Raj completely in the process! Then, I switched off the light, and tried going back to sleep.

Hardly 5 minutes had passed when I felt something land on my face, and roll around in my hair! By now, I was becoming quite an expert at tackling such threats. Threw it off, jumped up and switched on the lights... and it was only then that I realized what had happened. This new cockroach was actually Simran, the mate of the cockroach that I'd just killed, and had come to take revenge for her husband's murder! I grew up on ichhadhaari naag/naagin(cobras who can change shape to become humans) movies like Nagin, Nagina(Sridevi singing Main Teri dushman, dushman tu mera...) etc. and so I know exactly how this happens. You see, cockroaches, just like snakes, have a photographic memory, literally. When you kill a cockroach, your image gets frozen in his eyes, and when his mate comes and discovers that her guy's been killed, she looks into his eyes and finds out who the killer his. Then, she sets out to take revenge! So here she was...! All this flashed before my eyes in a fraction of a second! So now I had no option but to dispose off Simran also, since she would keep following me to the end of the world for revenge. So I did the only thing I could. Located another newspaper, but Simran was not as naive as her mate. She rushed off and hid amongst the shoes that were lying in a corner. So, I, like an experienced hunter, followed her there, and flushed her out. She ran, but soon got cornered. All I can say in my defence is that she died a quick death!

The only crime of Raj was that he chose to jump all over me when he didn't need to and I didn't need it! Poor Simran's crime was that she loved Raj, more than anything else in the world, so much that she fought a 'giant' for the sake of his memory! May their souls rest in peace.

Another weekend!

2006-05-07T22:19:00.000-07:00

After a long time, I have actually started looking forward to weekends. Last weekend saw me go on a shopping binge and blowing up 41K. This weekend didn't involve any spending from my side, but I still had quite a decent time.

Saturday, as usual, was working for us. Have got quite used to having 6-days weeks, but it still hurts when work on Saturdays extends till 10-10.30 PM and you are left with neither the time, nor the energy to indulge in any meaningful leisure activity like partying or watching a movie. My adventures this Saturday started much before I left office. Our bosses and the sales team are on a junket to Abu Dhabi and Dubai, and taking full advantage of the situation, more than half of our team bunked office that day. There were only 4 of us in office that day, and had some stretch deliverables for that day in terms of promo despatches. Now, I normally don't have too many issues with people enjoying while I work(though I resent it obviously), but if it affects my deliverables then I have a big issue. One particular colleague had not only bunked office, but was also not taking phone calls, and work was getting stuck because of it. I got so angry that I SMSd my boss and this colleague's boss in Abu Dhabi, saying that we won't be able to deliver the promos on that day, since that guy was not taking calls. And, we are going home since we are sick of waiting in office, doing nothing! Led to a lot of repurcussions, some of which I will face when the bosses come back tomorrow, but the main thing is that wheels started turning and we were able to despatch 2 out of those 3 promos! That's enough for me!

Was able to leave office by 8.30. Had to go to a friend's place for a party. Went straight there, even though his place is quite close to mine. Didn't have the energy to go home and change(first you climb up 3 floors, change, then climb down, then walk for 5 minutes, then climb up another 3 floors to reach his place... just too much work!)! Had a blast that night. A small group of people in a small room, good music, and lots of booze... you get the picture! The highlight of the party ws this friend of the host, who is also a film photographer like my friend. When this guy came in, we were informed that he has a special tatoo below his right shoulder, that people are ready to pay to see. All of us being of the highly curious variety, we immediately started pestering him to show us the tatoo. "After 4 pegs", he said quite firmly! All right, you have a deal! I took upon myself the huge responsibility of ensuring that his 4 pegs happened asap. He was a Rum & Coke drinker, so I enjoyed making drinks for him of course! 4 pegs happened in record time and the moment arrived! He took off his shirt and we saw... a tatoo of Amitabh Bachchan in shackles, from the movie 'Kaaliya'! A huge round of applause and loud cheering obviously happened, leading to yet another round of protests from the neighbours! A round of drunken singing of Amitabh hits happened before we dispersed for the night!

As is usual after a wild night, yesterday was a relatively calm day! Since Sundays cannot go without me having watched a movie, I went and watched 'Nanny McPhee' with a friend. The basic premise of The Sound of Music/Parichay' with a magical twist, Emma Thompson's script had a lot of scope for a fun kids movie. But it was an OK kind of movie, too cliched and predictable, but still timepass, cute entertainment!

And then, I rested!

May the Force be with you!

Weekend Adventures!

2006-05-01T21:39:00.000-07:00

The weekend didn't start on a very bright note. We were supposed to have a 3-day weekend(Sat-Mon), but on Friday, we were informed that Saturday's holiday has been cancelled. Came as quite a shocker, especially since it drastically affected the execution of THE LIST. What is The List??? It is a master document that I and a friend had prepared last weekend, listing down everything that we need to buy in the short, medium and long-term! This ranged from watching 5 movies this weekend, to buying a house some years down the line.... you get the picture! Anyways, one has to make do with what fate dishes out, so the weekend started on Saturday night instead of Friday night!

Came back from work at around 9.30, and went straight to a friend's place, where a movie session had been planned. The movie: Hostel, presented by Quentin 'the God' Tarantino! It is a movie about 3 guys backpacking through Europe, who land up in a hostel in Slovakia looking for hot, 'freely-available' women, who are supposed to love American men! What befalls them there is the story! It is not a movie for the squeamish, and it's best watched with a group of friends, and lights switched off. Saw this much gore after a long time, and none of us had the stomach for dinner after the movie! Great stuff!

The agenda for Sunday was shopping. I had to buy a new mobile and a music system, and clothes! Also, me and a friend had to explore some furniture shops to look for some basic furniture for our respective houses. The key learning for the day was that shopping is extremely serious and extremely tiring! Ended the day at 10 PM, having bought:

a) A new mobile: Nokia N70 for 20K

b) A Sony Music System: some model no. with 100W X 2 RMS main speakers, and 40WX3 woofers etc. In Delhi terms, it was 3500W PMPO(pronounced 'pumpo' back home in Delhi)! Also has a 3-DVD changer btw! The damage: 20.5K

c) Since I was buying a music system, I thought I might as well buy a couple of audio CDs also. The inaugural CD was... all right, you guessed it: Gangster. And the 2nd CD was Rang De Basanti. Got a bonus CD along with Gangster: Emran Rules- Superhit songs of Emran Hashmi. Yipeeee!!!

Was so keen on getting the music system on Sunday night itself that I very bravely(and stupidly, as you will soon see) told the shopkeeper that I will carry it along with me since he said he would be able to deliver only the next day. Now the system weighs 26 Kg as per the packaging, and my house happens to be on the 3rd floor of a lift-less building. I had assumed that I would just tell the watchman for help and we will carry it upstairs together, but he started doing some nautanki(street-play), so I told him to chuck it, and carried the box myself. As if the weight of the box wasn't enough, it was so wide that it didn't fit into the width of the stairs. Hence, I had to carry it upstairs while I was sideways! Great fun... my back was groaning by the time I reached the 3rd floor. Remind me never to try such stunts again!

Yesterday was slightly less hectic. Obviously, since I had no energy left to do the rest of the shopping as per The List. I had the option of watching only one movie in the afternoon, so I obviously went and watched Gangster. Don't ask me about the movie pls. It wasn't too bad, but it could have been much much better if the heroine Kangana knew how to speak, and Emran Hashmi knew how to act. Kangana had such a superbly complex character, and she made a right royal mess of it. Her dialogue delivery is quite easily the worst I have seen in recent times. The only saving grace of the movie, apart from the haunting music of course, was Shiney Ahuja. He was simply explosive, and faltered only once, in a scene where he was supposed to break down and cry. Couldn't help comparing this scene with Aamir's completely natural breaking down in RDB, and realized that this is what separates the men from the boys! Barring that, he was great. I have said this before and I am saying it again- Shiney Ahuja is a face to watch out for!

Oops, I missed out on some more shopping. Went to Crossword on Sunday. Since I always buy something when I go to a bookshop, I bought a couple of Just William books. I am making a collection of William books, buy 2 at a time, and buy another 2 once I finish the previous ones. Yesterday, went to the new Landmark store that has opened near my place. It's huge, crazy collection, with two rows of just Science Fiction and Fantasy! Inaugurated the store with the Star Wars trilogy(in book form), and Terry Pratchett's Johnny Maxwell Trilogy!

I wish today was also a holiday, so I could spend some time with my books and my new baaja(music system), rather than wasting away my life in office! But no sweat, weekends aur bhi aayengee!(more weekends will come)!

May the Force be with you!

Totally random...

2006-04-29T01:38:00.000-07:00

All right, have been away from active blogging for too long. A Saturday in office, where I am the only one from our team here, is as good a time as any to write something on my much-neglected blog! There's only one slight hitch: I have no idea what I am going to write about! "But since when has the want of a topic stopped you from speaking?", my friends will immediately object...and rightly so! For someone who takes great pride in 'never saying in 2 words what you can say in 20', writing without a topic should not be a big deal at all! So, here goes...

The 1st thing that I have decided is that there won't be any cribbing at all in this post, this will be a totally positive post. For too long now have I been going on and on about my inhuman working hours, undue stress, and the worst... these strange creatures called 'demons'! Not any more(at least till the next post that is!).

I am sitting on my desk, watching 'Hum' on a cable channel! Was getting slightly bored of watching my channel constantly, so started surfing, and stumbled upon the movie. It's just started, and the cult song of the movie is currently on! No prizes for guessing this one: 'Jumma Chumma de de'! I love watching Hum again and again, it is a totally filmy film! Formulae galore, Bachchan sa'ab at his best, with a new 'distinguished' look with grey hair, lost-and-found, twists-and-turns, but most importantly, cult dialogues and characters. Sample some of them: Amitabh as Tiger, the 'dada' of the dockyards(godi), Danny as Bakhtawar(the king of the godi) who loves his children so much that he is ready to kill anyone who disturbs their sleep, Kimi Katkar as 'Jumma'- the love of Tiger's life who sacrifices her own happiness so that Tiger can take care of his step-brothers... The list goes on and on. But my favorite character from the movie is 'Private General Giridhar', played brilliantly by Anupam Kher! Who can forget his famous Haryanvi accent(and pronouncing 'j' as 'z') when he addresses his sidekick Annu Kapur-"Arzun Singh, kitni baar kaha hai tuzhe, teer mat chhorha kar"(Arzun Singh, how many times have I told you- do not shoot arrows)! Or my personal favorite, when he is just about to set fire to Bakhtawar's wife and daughters - "Bhabhizee bhabhizee swweet bhabhizee! Ab bhabhizee aur bachchezee aag se khelenge"(Sweet sister-in-law! Now sis-in-law and her kids will play with fire!)! He is corrupt, cruel, totally black, but with a wicked sense of humour. You hate him, but you also love him for the panache with which he carries this role off! I just love 'Hum'!

5 new releases this weekend: Darna Zaroori Hai and Gangster in Hindi, Pink Panther, Zathura(A Space Adventure), and Mistress of Spices in English! Ideally want to watch at least 4 of them over the next two days, not too kicked about Mistress of Spices, but everything else, since Monday too happens to be a holiday (Maharashtra Day), though we would have liked it to be a holiday because May 1st is also International Labour Day, and we are all labourers at the end of the day :-)

Also on the agenda is some long overdue shopping: clothes, baaja(music system), and a new mobile if I can freeze upon a good Nokia model! Don't be shocked... I shop like once in 2-3 years, and so it's perfectly normal to have some expensive items in the 'grocery' list :-) Wait, I am forgetting my weekly visit to Crossword... and I also need to check out the new Landmark bookstore that has opened up near my place this week! All in all, this weekend is going to be pretty hectic methinks!

That's all for now folks! This post was more an attempt to get back into the blog-writing habit than anything else! Hope you'll understand and hence pardon the unstructured ramblings!

May the Force be with you!

The best Bollywood OST in years...

2006-04-20T22:18:00.000-07:00

As if all the work/deadlines/dipping TRPs related stress was not enough, my colleagues now have to suffer from my latest craze: the music of Gangster. The day starts with me calling out to a fellow-fan Namita(since I do not have speakers on my comp, having donated them to another colleague long ago):"Apne waale gaane lagao!" And the madness starts...

It's been a long time since I have been so affected by the music of an upcoming film that I've found myself desperately wanting to watch the movie asap, even though I know that in all probability, the movie is going to be a huge disappointment(what else do you expect from Emraan Hashmi anyways!!!) But watch it I will, because the makers of such kick-ass music need to be encouraged, but more importantly, because I can't resist this urge to go and watch this movie First Day First Show types! I am not even going to attempt a proper music review here, I am no critic. What I will do, however, is, give you a glimpse of the music, and what it can do!

The 1st song that I heard from the movie was 'Tu hi meri shab hai...'. Sung marvellously by KK, this is a melodious, catchy, romantic number that you will want to sing to the one that you love! KK remains one of my favorite singers in recent times. Though most people remember him from his private album 'Pal' and 'tadap tadap ke...' from Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, my favorite KK number is a Tamil song, Uyirin Uyire' from a movie called Kakka Kakka. I was exposed to this song when I was posted in Bangalore a couple of years ago, and fell in love with it instantly. The music for that movie was by Harris Jayaraj(music director of Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein/Minale). But I digress...

The 2nd song is 'Bheegi Bheegi...' by a Bangladeshi singer called James. It's an intense, passionate, fast-paced song, and is crazy enough to drive you crazy! James does not speak/read a word of Hindi, so the song was written for him in Bangla script, and he sang it in Hindi. The music for this song is not by Pritam, it is an old composition by Gautam Chatterji called 'Prithvi' that used to be sung in Kolkata clubs apparently.

But what takes the cake, for me, is a song called 'Ya Ali...'. Sung by a singer called Zubin from Assam, this song so evocatively brings out the pathos of this love story that it brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. Sample my favorite stanza from this song:
'Bina tere na ek pal ho,
Na bin tere kabhi kal ho,
Yeh dil ban jaaye patthar ka,
na isme koi hulchul ho
Sanam Pe Haan, Ishq pe haan,
luta doon, mita doon,
main apni khudi'

Loosely translated: Let there not be a single moment without you, nor should tomorrow ever arrive without you. Let this heart turn to stone, and hence not have any emotions/feelings any more. I want to lose my identity for my lover and my love!

I rest my case!

P.s.: The music is by Pritam, the music director of Dhoom(average) and Chocolate(inspired). The brilliant lyrics are by Sayed Qadri(Bheegi Bheegi by Mayur).

P.P.s. Have been absent from my own blog for a long time now, mostly due to lack of time and mind-space, my standard excuses :-) Have been fighting some demons of my own, but that is another story! May the Force be with you!

A public apology to Babu Devakinandan Khatri

2006-04-03T21:29:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, I'd written about the fantasy books that had influenced me the most, and were my favorites. Then, some time later, I stumbled upon Adi's blog, where he'd written about an old favorite of mine, a masterpiece which I used to cockily think I was the only one of my generation to have read. Evidently, I was wrong. Like me, Adi too had read this book, and in response to my comment on his blog, he rightfully asked me why I hadn't included it in the list of my favorite fantasy books. I promised him a public apology...and hence this post! The book, or rather books, that I am talking about are Chandrakanta and Chandrakanta Santati, the 'mother of all fantasy fiction', and those who have been fortunate enough to read them will agree that I am not committing blasphemy by saying this!

I was 12 years old at that time. We were on a family holiday trip to the south, and it happened to be my first journey in an AC compartment(Tamil Nadu Express to Madras). Being used to reading something before sleeping every night, but not having anything on my hands(this being a 3 week long journey, mom had prohibited me from carrying any books- "waise hi samaan bahut hai" types), I did the next best thing - looked around for a fellow traveller from whom I could borrow a book. As luck would have it, there was an uncle who was in the berth next to ours, and he was reading a Hindi book in an attractive black cover. When he turned in for the night, I sweeetly asked him what he was reading. "Chandrakanta Santati", he told me. I then asked him, very sweetly this time, if I could borrow the book for some time since he was anyways going off to sleep. "Read on", said he,"but only at your risk", or he should have said that if he didn't, because it turned my world upside down for the next few months. I started reading it and discovered that it was the sequel to a book called 'Chandrakanta', which apparently was a rage when it was published. Worse, it was spread over 6 books. Anyways, I started... and kept turning the pages. Must have read some 100 pages only of the book that night before being forced to sleep, and the uncle left the next morning, but I was as hooked as hooked can be.

As soon as I got back to Delhi, I started making efforts to get hold of the book so that I could complete the madness that had started that fateful night in the train. Luckily, I didn't have to fight too much for it. My chachaji(uncle) was a professor of Hindi in Delhi's Hansraj College at that time, and he used his contacts to arrange for the books for me over the next couple of months. But in my description of the seduction process, I seem to have completely omitted telling anything about the books themselves. My apologies to the readers.

Chandrakanta and Chandrakanta Santati were written by Babu Devakinandan Khatri in the late 19th century. What are they all about??? Well, its fantasy fiction in an Indian context. The original Chandrakanta is about a prince Virendra Singh, who is in love with the princess of a rival kingdom. Her name: no prizes for guessing this one, is Chandrakanta. Thrown into this love story is a 'tilism', a magical maze in an old abandoned fort which is there to guard a huge treasure trove. Virendra Singh and Chandrakanta have to ensure that their love wins against evil villains like King Shivdutt of another kingdom, who wants to capture the treasure, and rival 'aiyyars', sort of super-spies with almost magical powers of transforming themselves into another person, and experts in all modes of warfare. Virendra Singh has his own group of 'aiyyars' led by Tej Singh, to support him. Its swashbuckling fare, with sword-fights, magic, treachery, deceit, bravery, and above all love at it's best!

It's sequel, Chandrakanta Santati, is to Chandrakanta, what Lord of the Rings is to The Hobbit. Its a much more monumental and complex work, spread over six thick books(against the single book of Chandrakanta), and by the time you reach the end of the 6th book, you realize that its been some time since you last breathed! It is the story of the 2 sons of Virendra Singh and Chandrakanta, and has the added attraction of a mysterious mercenary 'aiyyar' called Bhootnath, who has a magical dagger, and plays such an important role in the book that there followed a separate book on him, called 'Bhootnath'.

A small aside on the popularity of the books in their era. Apparently, the publishers used to print one chapter at a time, as and when the author kept submitting them, and on the day the chapter was to be released, there used to be a huge crowd outside the press, and the chapter was sold to people like in an auction.

The sad ending of this story: I have been wanting to buy these books for the last so many years, but they're not available anywhere. I tried on the net, I tried some bookshops in Delhi which keep Hindi stuff, but nothing. All I found was a Diamond Pocket Books version of Chandrakanta, with Shikha Swaroop's photograph on top. I threw the book down in disgust. Some people might recall that Neerja Guleri had made a TV serial called Chandrakanta long ago. I wanted to murder her after watching the serial, because she had made a royal mess of it, totally slaughtering the beautiful story in the process. It had Shikha Swaroop as Chandrakanta, and Shahbaz Khan as Virendra Singh. Anyways, too depressing...

This post is also doubling up as a public appeal: If anyone of you ever comes across these books in any bookshop, or know of any senile old man who wants to sell them before he dies, pls get in touch with me immediately. My kingdom for these books...

The purist in me - A true story

2006-03-24T20:41:00.000-08:00

The story so far: We are planning a film festival of mega-movies at a particular time slot, every day in the month of April. To promote it, our on-air promos team was briefed to make a generic promo, without mentioning any film names or telecast dates, to inform viewers about the festival, and attract them enough for them to come and sample our movies during April. The promo got ready yesterday, and I and my boss checked it.

The conversation:
Me: Don't you think this promo is 'cheating'?
Boss: Why? What's wrong with it?
Me: We are showing footage of even those movies in the promo that we are not showing during this festival,in fact,not even during this month. Isn't this misleading the viewers?
Boss: Noooooooo, because we are not telling them that this specific movie is being shown at this time. We are just telling them that movies of this scale are being shown in this slot, throughout this month.
Me: But that IS cheating.
Boss: No, we're not specifying a telecast date and time.
Me: That is just a technicality, ethically we are misleading the public.
Boss (slightly irritated now): You can't look at everything from a purist point of view. It doesn't work this way, especially in marketing, and in this industry.

End of conversation.

The conversation ended but I wasn't convinced. I'm still not convinced. This was the 2nd such incident yesterday. The first one was regarding a promo that I checked and found that in one of the 'supers' (the text that appears on the screen during an ad/promo), the word 'hook-ups' was spelt as 'hook-up's'. I wanted to stop the promo from being despatched with what in my eyes was a horrible mistake. But I was over-ruled, and told that though I was right (of course), it was too minor an error and most people would not even notice it. Anyways, we needed to put it on-air asap, so it HAD to be despatched, and we could despatch a corrected version by Monday. But for 2 days, the 0.01% of our viewers who will notice it, will laugh at us, and think of us as incompetent jokers. At least that is what I do when I see such errors on screen! But then, maybe that is just the point of view of a purist!

I've always been like this. All my regular readers know about my OCD when it comes to grammar. Till some time ago, I even used to type complete grammatical sentences on SMS. It was so painful that I've now moved on to using shorter versions of words, but I've somehow managed not to compromise on the grammar part :-)

It affects me in other fields also. Whenever I listen to a remixed version of an old classic, I cringe. Its almost like a physical shock. How can someone mess around with someone else's creative product? Who has given him/her that right? If there are laws against murdering a human being, why is there no law against murdering a song?

The same is true in the case of movies. I was apalled when I saw 'The Bourne Identity' 3-4 years ago. I'd obviously read Robert Ludlum's original work, and it remains one of my all-time favorite thrillers. But here was a movie, which was supposedly based on that book, and even borrowed its name, but massacred the original story so badly that it became totally unrecognizable, especially towards the end. I was so scandalized that I couldn't gather the courage to watch 'The Bourne Supremacy' when it was released last year.

Its all the fault of the purist in me. He wants everything to be correct, and ideal. He wants people to behave as they SHOULD, to use the language that is 'proper', to show respect for other people's intellectual rights. Maybe I'm unrealistic, but that's not my fault. It's the purist in me!

May the Force be with you.

Guilty guilty guilty mujhe log bolein...

2006-03-17T03:31:00.000-08:00

Beth, of Beth Loves Bollywood fame (and I mean 'fame' literally, what with podcast interviews, and a global fan following), has very gracefully tagged me to do 'a meme about guilt', in the process forcing me to come out of my hibernation. The tag involves revealing things that you feel guilty about, in 5 specified categories (at least that's what I have understood)! So, here goes nothing...

Culinary guilt: This is easy. NONE! I am very particular about what I eat, in the sense that I eat what I like eating and don't touch what I don't like eating (e.g. coriander)! I'm very clear on this, I like to enjoy what I eat, so there's no way that i'm going to feel guilty about it... ever!

Literary guilt: Two distinct guilts... I keep buying books and end up keeping them aside for reading later, or at times, starting them and leaving them mid-way, to be continued later. Only, the 'later' never comes, since more books have come on the priority list by then. But I'm sure I will read those books when I am in the right frame of mind... and when I have the time... and when I have nothing more interesting and 'urgent' to read... yeah, I'm sure!!!
My 2nd literary guilt is that I hardly read any non-fiction stuff anymore. There was a time when my reading was fairly varied, with books on history being strong favorites with me. Unfortunately, have somehow stopped reading non-fiction almost totally. Need a story to read a book...

Audio-visual guilt: Again, two major guilts in this category. First, on the movies front - I call myself a movie-buff, but I am yet to see many of the all-time great movies in Hindi (Mughal-E-Azam, Mother India...) and English (most of the classics, including Hitchcock).
Second, on the Television front, have totally stopped watching television except for my own channel (for monitoring purposes), or surfing channels at a crazy speed. Really feel I will love watching the History Channel, but never get down to it.

Musical guilt: Hardly listen to good music anymore. No opportunity... don't own a music system. Have been planning to buy one for a long time, but then, end up delaying the purchase since I don't have time, and also don't want to start investing in CDs right now, as it is, am spending enough on books!

Celebrity guilt: Don't know what this means. I am completely star-struck, and am not ashamed of it at all. When I first saw Amitabh Bachchan, during the red carpet premiere of Waqt - The Race Against Time, I went to his seat and took his autograph during the interval! That answers the 'guilt' part of this category methinks!

All rightie... task completed. Must admit that this one was fairly easy to write, unlike some of the stuff that had come up previously. Only, have been really pressed for time, so kept delaying this post for so many days, and again, it took me 5 hours to complete this because of the frequent and long interruptions.

Here's wishing all of you a guilt-free life...
May the Force be with you.

Tired...

2006-03-06T21:02:00.000-08:00

Seems like ages since I wrote anything. Actually, it IS ages since I wrote! My already messy life has become even more messy since the last couple of weeks. Need to sleep, or I think I'll just slump off on my seat one of these days. Seems like ages since I slept a full night's sleep!Don't seem to have the energy, or the time, or the inclination to write on my blog anymore. Seems like ages since I wrote anything. Wait... I've already said that, haven't I???

Don't even want to think about my work right now. Badly need a break. So, till the time I am finally able to take that break that I've been promising myself (going to the Himalyas for a week and doing nothing except reading and drinking), I think it is a good idea to try and keep writing. One of the best stress-busters I know of! So, what should I write about? In her comment a couple of weeks ago in response to the list of my favorite movies, AFJ had suggested that I write about my books. Now I don't usually write about them, because I think books are a very personal subject, much more so than movies for example. But I think I'll write something nonetheless, hopefully writing about my love will make my mood lighter! Let me tell you about my affair with the fantasy genre. Read on...

Long years ago, in a galaxy far far away...I read my first comic. It must have been a Phantom or a Mandrake, though I obviously don't remember which comic it was, but definitely Indrajal! Went on to discover other superheroes like Superman, Batman, Spiderman and He-Man(him through TV, not books)! This, I believe, was the foundation stone of this affair which has lasted a lifetime! Unlike other kids my age, I did not graduate to Enid Blyton after that (unfortunately, since I discovered the joy of reading Blyton many years late), but moved straight to Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew and Co. The next few years were spent in reading classics and thrillers and stuff. Also, the fantasy genre was not that popular in those days, and so I was never exposed to classics like Lord Of The Rings. An exception was CS Lewis - I got 'The Magician's Nephew' of the Chronicles of Narnia as a prize in school (I came first in Class IVth, I am ashamed to admit), and fell head-over-heels in love with it. It became my dream to get my hands on all other books in the series. Two factors were a hindrance to this: No access to a bookshop which had those, and more importantly, no money! So, I suppressed my desire and kept on reading whatever I could borrow from my friends, from the school library, or the Delhi Public Library, of which I was a member.

Anyways, to cut an already long story short, once I reached the stage where I had access to book-shops, and had the money, and the time, I went berserk, and actively started collecting books from this genre. Some of these, which are extremely close to my heart, are:

Harry Potter - The complete series: 'The boy who lived' was already a global phenomenon by the time I discovered him in early 2001. I generally avoid books/movies with too much hype around them, so I started reading The Philosopher's Stone with a certain amount of scepticism. But boy, was I in for a surprise or what! A compelling story of good vs. evil, set in a magical world, with characters you can relate to, and great take-outs like fidelity, bravery, integrity, and most importantly - FUN!

Lord Of The Rings: As the great Lord Budhha said, "The English speaking world is divided into two halves - those who have read the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, and those who are going to read them." Its as cult as cult can be in this genre. Again, an extremely simple story of good vs. evil, and heroes who do not have extraordinary superpowers, but have their own weaknesses and chinks in their armour. But when it comes to the crunch, they stand up for what is right!

Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials Trilogy: Discovered it quite late, around an year ago. Had read a lot about Pullman, but never came across it. One day at Crossword, it almost literally fell into my lap... and is still there! In terms of take-outs from a book, this is probably the book that has influenced me the most, after 'Godfather'! A story of friendship, of the ills of organized religion, of love, of doing what one believes in.

The Hitchihiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The entry on earth in this freaked out masterpiece has two words : Mostly Harmless. The answer to the ultimate question on The Life, the Universe, and Everything is: 42! Need I say more about this classic?

The Chronicles of Narnia: Finally bought all the 7 books around 2.5 years ago in Bangalore. That was when I was finally able to read the other 6 books, including The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. A magical world, with a strongly Christian message according to critics, including Pullman. But if we do not get into all that mess, it is still an extremely feel-good and magical series, and if Good-will-finally-triumph-over-evil is a religious message, why should I have any issues with it?

The Bartimaeus Trilogy: Jonathan Stroud's trilogy about a djini called Bartiameus, and his master 'Nathaniel'. A book that speaks volumes about the dangers of an elite aristocracy(in this case - magicians) ruling the ordinary citizens.

Ashok Banker's Ramayana: For those who have not yet tried reading this, my sincere recommendation - pls read the 1st 10 pages of the 1st book in the series. A story that we've all read when we were young, we've seen it on TV, but this version actually leaves one speechless. Banker attempts a feat which seems stupid and impossible, but succeeds against all odds. Brilliant storytelling, makes the world of that era come alive, in a way which we never thought possible.

Artemis Fowl - The Series: Eoin Colfer's rogue Hero Artemis Fowl is a criminal mastermind, having inherited his father's crime empire at the age of 12. Imagine a 'hero' for whom stealing paintings, money, fairy technology...is a passion, not just business. But deep underneath, he has a heart! Reminds you of someone? Yup, Bollywood heroes have been like this for a long time now, so you know why I love this series!

The Gameworld Trilogy: I bought the first part of this trilogy (The Simoquin Prophecies) when I read that its author - Samit Basu, wrote it at the age of 23, and dropped out of IIM-A to write it. I somehow felt that it was my duty to supprt him, so bought the book without too many expectations (My experience with Indian authors hasn't been too great, but that's another story). But I was pleasantly surprised at the sheer madness of the book, and how, despite being inspired by many sources including The Ramayana, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and even The Matrix, this was still an original work. Just finished reading The Manticore's Secret (part 2 of the trilogy), and found that it was much more evolved than the first part... and equally great fun.

Besides this, there is a lot of stuff that I keep on buying and stashing away - like Eragon, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrel, The Lightening Thief, Inkheart, works by Tom Holt...

Sometimes, I start wondering if reading so much fantasy stuff means that I am an escapist, and want to turn my back to reality? Then, I stop thinking and get lost in this magical world, a world where good triumphs over evil despite all odds, a world where qualities like integrity and honesty are not extinct yet, a world where I can believe for some time that the basic goodness of human nature will always come out tops!

May the Force be with you.

p.s. Phew! Finally wrote, and a loooooong one at that. I told you its a good idea to write about books, even though it took me 6 hours (with long breaks ) to complete this novella!

Hello Hello 123 123 Mike testing!

2006-02-24T23:20:00.000-08:00

The add comments section on my last post has disappeared! So, am testing whether it was a one-off case or a permanent problem.

Testing over. Apparently, it is a problem with that particular post only. Being technologically challenged, I really have no idea why its happened, but as a stop-gap solution, anyone who wishes to comment on my previous post can do so on this one!

May the Force be with you.

Have money, will kill, and the law be damned!

2006-02-24T07:05:00.000-08:00

I think it all started with Puru Raj Kumar, the son of former Bollywood star Raj Kumar. I used to have a deep faith in the law, and the old saying 'Be you ever so high, the law is above you.' Unfortunately, its just a saying...

A few years ago, Puru Raj Kumar ran over 2 pavement dwellers. The exemplary punishment meted out to him - a fine of Rs. 35000/- and no, I haven't missed out on some 0s!

Around the same time, Sanjeev Nanda, son of a retired admiral (and current international arms dealer!), and his friends ran over 6 people, including 3 policemen. The case ran for a long time, and I really don't remember the accused having been punished!

Priyadarshini Matoo, a college student in Delhi, was raped and killed by Santosh Singh, who is the son a senior IPS officer. At the time of acquitting Singh, the judge clearly said that he knew that the accused was guilty, but was being forced to acquit him due to lack of evidence presented by the police!

I do not even want to get into the various offences of Salman Khan, the list is just too long!

And two days ago, the final straw on the camel's back. All the 9 accused in the Jessice Lal murder case have been set free. Of course it was a very complicated case, with 'just' 90 people present in the Tamarind Court when Manu Sharma shot Jessica Lal because she refused to serve him a drink, then ran away. It took 7 long years for the court to pronounce its judgement, after all, the accused included Manu, the son of an ex Union Minister(and now Punjab cabinet minister), Vikas Yadav - son of UP Don-turned-politician(actually aren't the two words interchangable?)DP Yadav, two executives of Coke, and a relative of former president Shankar Dayal Sharma! Actually, why blame only the accused? Look at the star witnesses for the prosecution. Socialite/Designer Bina Ramani, who owned Tamarind Court alongwith her daughter. She first identified Manu and later said she was not sure if this was the same man! Model/actor Shayan Munshi, the first signatory eye-witness on the FIR, who later said that he didn't know Hindi and so had no idea what he was signing. Of course we totally believe him that he didn't see anything!

Bottomline: Kanoon ke haath lambe hote hain, but only for us ordinary people. A different law exists for the high and mighty of the land. We are not a democracy, because common citizens of this country can be trampled upon by anyone who has enough money and muscle.

A few days ago, a lot of us saw 'Rang De Basanti' and came out of theatres full of enthusiasm to change the world. Today, I am not sure whether we can do much about it. But still, I'll tell you what I am going to do - I am never going to watch any movie with Shayan Munshi in it. I am never going to buy any clothes designed by Bina Ramani, or be be associated with any activity/cause in which she is involved. I am never going to drink any Coke product, because the company stood by Amarjit Gill, the guy who drove Manu's car away from the pub in the morning.

And finally, I am not going to let these people affect my life so much that I lose my faith totally. May the Force be with all of us!

A 100 smiles... and counting!

2006-02-20T04:04:00.000-08:00

The Comic Project has turned 100 today! The 100th comic has been posted on this amazing blog. And the celebrations begin...

For the uninitiated, The Comic Project is a unique and unprecedented venture for posting Indrajal Comics (primarily, though there are one-off cases of other publications) on the net. Started a few months ago by someone we just know as tcp, this project has today become a 100 comics old. I have said this before on my blog (though in not so many words), and am now saying it again - "If anybody deserves a Noble Peace Prize, The Legion d' honor, and the Bharat Ratna, all rolled into one, it is tcp, for touching the lives of so many people, by returning our childhood to us!

May the Force be with him (its them actually, as tcp is now a team of contributors)! Looking forward to seeing the remaining 900 or so Indrajals on tcp soon :-)

Anybody who visits my blog is hereby tagged, to visit TCP's blog and post a comment, we are aiming for a 100 unique comments for the 100th comic. This is the least we all can do folks, so pls get cracking!

Of television debuts and Delhi marriages!

2006-02-16T21:35:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, today is a red-letter day in the history of mankind. Ok, thodha zyaada ho gaya, but still...

I make my television debut today. Its a huge and very important role in the teaser promo of the movie 'Malamal Weekly'. Directed by Priyadarshan, this movie is scheduled for release on March 10. The teaser TV promos of the movie, starting today across all channels, feature a series of individuals trying to suppress their laughter, but failing. The idea being that watching MW will have this effect on you. Now for my role - I play one of the guys laughing away to glory, and am on screen for exactly 1 second. But as a friend told me, "1 second means 25 frames", which is a much bigger number than 1! Hope all the biggie directors will be watching the promo, and notice a star in the making :-)

Amongst other things, I leave for Delhi in the evening to attend a friend's wedding. I can distinctly visualize my mom telling me, "Hamesha apne doston ki shaadiyaan karwaane Delhi aata hai, tera no. kab aayega?" My whole gang will be assembling for the wedding, which is on Sunday, and I'm sure we'll all have a blast!

Hope all of you also have a great weekend. May the Force be with you!

Movies I will never watch again!

2006-02-10T23:34:00.000-08:00

In my post on the nine quartets tag, I'd listed 4 movies that I could watch again and again. But these are not necessarily my favorite movies, they're my favorite movies that I can watch again and again. Let me introduce you to another of my quirks...

There are 3 kinds of movies that I know I will never watch again.

1. The really bad ones, right from the B/C grade 1990s Mithunda type movies (I loved his '80s stuff, but his southern stint is quite unwatchable) to the A category big-budget duds like Mela (this will turn-off even the die-hard Aamir Khan fans), Shabd, Kisna, Kaal etc.

2. Horror flicks like Bhoot, Pet Semetry, Vaastu-Shastra etc. Confession time: I seldom watch horror films, get totally scared, and my over-active imagination ensures that the after-effects continue for at least 2-3 days. So, I know I won't be watching again the few that I've watched!

3. Movies that have made a deep impact on me, movies that are beautiful works of art, movies that touch my core, movies that make me cry. There are some movies that have affected me so powerfully when I watched them that I simply don't have the courage to watch them again. Moreover, each of these movies is stored in my memory as something special, associated with a unique period in my life. The minute I try to revisit these movies, I fear that those movies might not remain that 'special' anymore. E.g. Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa is one of my all-time favorite movies. I watched it in 1994. I'm sure I have changed in the last 11 years in terms of exposure to good cinema, technique, camerawork etc. Today, if I try to watch it again, I might not find the movie to be as great as I thought it was when I saw it. Don't want my memories of these films to be shattered, hence I will never watch them again! Here are a few of them:

Khamoshi: Asit Sen's classic with Waheeda Rehman in possibly her career's best performance. Hemantda's music was haunting (Tum Pukar Lo, Woh Shaam Kuchh Ajeeb Thi, Hamne Dekhi Hai Un Aankhon Ki...), and when I saw it more than a decade ago, it brought tears to my eyes.

Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa: Again, possibly SRK's best film ever. This low-budget movie failed to find distributors when it was ready. Shah Rukh believed in the movie so much that he decided to distribute it himself. It was the story of every young man, and so I fell in love with the movie.

Anupama: Hrishikesh Mukherjee's masterpiece with Sharmila Tagore and Dharmendra. This too has one of my all time favorite songs(again by Hemant Kumar): 'Ya Dil Ki Suno Duniya Waalon...'. One line in the antara of this song kind of defines the concept of the movie: 'Ye phool chaman mein kaisa khila, maali ki nazar mein pyaar nahi...'(What flower is this in the garden, that even the gardener doesn't love it?). Anupama's mother dies while giving birth to her, her father brings her up blaming her for her mother's death. _

Hazaaron Khwaaishein Aisi: Too powerful for me to handle!

Rang De Basanti: When I came out of the hall, my intial reaction was that I've got to watch it again. But when I got the opportunity a week later, I realized that I just couldn't!

The Usual Suspects: What can I say about this Bryan Singer legend? It left me so amazed that I want to retain that experience forever!

A Clockwork Orange & Natural Born Killers: An open invitation for mind-effing! If I watch either of them the 2nd time, the society will see another sociopath rebel being born! I really don't want to go out that way!

May the Force be with you!

Somebody Stop Me!!!

2006-02-06T03:07:00.000-08:00

All right, its official now. I AM totally crazy! I need to be restrained, institutionalized... basically, stopped, because I am my own worst enemy. But wait, let me start at the beginning (a very good place to start)...

Some 3 months ago, I'd recd the 'promise' of a sum of 16K as an incentive for the last half year that I'd worked at my previous company. I was so happy on receiving this 'promise' that without waiting for the actual money to come in, I went ahead and bought the complete Calvin & Hobbes collection for 6.5K (I wrote about it in one of my earlier posts in November)! As if this was not enough, I also purchased a 29" CTV in the same month, 'using' some of the money from the 16K. The cheque for the amount came in only a couple of weeks ago, so it was 'new money' now. Couldn't resist the temptation, went online and bought the complete Asterix collection for 9K! Its just been delivered to my office!

As usual, my colleagues are completely shocked at my extravagance and are saying that I'm mad, but I really couldn't care less. The way I look at it, I'm slogging my ass off so that I can do stuff that makes ME happy. So, anything that goes towards fulfilling this objective is a perfectly reasonable decision! So, maybe, just maybe, I'm not that crazy after all! What say???

Aao Tag Karein...

2006-01-31T01:47:00.000-08:00

Another weekend came and went away without my realizing it. Was in Ahmedabad on Sunday on official duty. Left early in the morning and came back quite late at night. Thought I'll take it slightly easy yesterday, but kismat ko kuchh aur hi manzoor tha. Had to go for a shoot in the afternoon, and reached home only at 0030 hours! Anyways, I'm drifting away from the main Mudda - The Issue of this post. Beth, as we all know, loves Bollywood. But what most of us do not know is that she also loves tagging people :-) Having been assigned the 'nine quartets' tag, methinks I'll take some time off and finish it off. So, here goes...

Four jobs I have had:

1. Handled pricing for a durables MNC in my first job
2. Was a Branch Sales Manager in Nagpur, and then Bangalore in the same company
3. Was a Brand Manager in India's first glamour and lifestyle channel
4. Am now looking after the program schedule, on-air promotion strategy, and part- marketing for a new Hindi movie channel.

Four movies I could watch over and over:

1. Sholay
2. Golmaal
3. Chupke Chupke
4. Andaaz Apna Apna
5. I want to name the bonus 5th: Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron!

Four places I've lived in:

1. Delhi - Born there, and lived there till my graduation
2. Pune - Did my MBA from there, 2 years
3. Nagpur - 1 year posting in sales
4. Bangalore- ditto
5. Bonus - Bombay for the last couple of years!

Four TV shows I love to watch: This is dangerous territory, but anyways...

1. The Great Indian Comedy Show (not to be confused with The Great Indian Laughter Challenge)
2. MASH
3. Lost - am so missing it, waiting expectantly for Season 2
4. Coupling - No, it's not what you are thinking. Its a little-known BBC comedy on Star World, about Man-Woman relationships.

Four places I've been to on vacation: I'm choosing 4 random ones...

1. Kerala - Into our last sem in MBA, we decided to take a break from the useless timepass (had stopped studying ages ago!), and 6 of us went for a 10 day trip to Kerala. My best vacation ever!
2. Bhandardara - Trekking trip to a trippy destination! Maharashtra happens to have some brilliant locales if you just do some basic research.
3. Rampur trip for Ankur's wedding - In the heart of UP lies a town called Rampur. Last year, a group of us friends went there to attend the marriage of one of our friends. Taking advantage of the occassion, we went off for a drive to the outskirts of Corbett National Park for a day! Again, a memorable trip!
4. Murud Jazeera / Naigaon - We heralded Y2K on the beach in this unpolluted area in the Konkan region!

Four of my favorite foods: Extremely tough, there're so many of them.

1. Rajma - Chawal
2. Makki Ki Roti with Sarson Ka Saag
3. Gaajar Ka Halwa
4. Pakoras

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. On a mountain cliff, on an easy-chair, with a good book in my hands, and some rum by my side
2. On a beach, everything else remaining the same as point 1, except that the rum is replaced with chilled beer!
3. In Crosswords, with plenty of moolah in my pocket, and unlimited time on my hands
4. At a marathon DVD-viewing session in the company of friends!

Four sites I visit daily: Am including blog-sites cos I don't go to any normal sites daily, its strictly on a need-only basis...
1. Yahoo - for mail
2. The Comic Project
3. Accidental Fame Junkie
4. Beth Loves Bollywood

Four bloggers I am tagging: Aaaanhhh, too painful. Whoever feels like doing it can volunteer, no Roman Volunteers at my blog :-)

Phew!!! This post is loooong, even by my standards! Anyways, as Bhiku Mhatre tells Satya: "Jo karna hai, woh karna hai! "

5 reasons why you should not watch Rang De Basanti!

2006-01-26T20:57:00.000-08:00

1. It will make you laugh uncontrollably

2. It will make you cry unashamedly

3. It will make you feel like an ass for the kind of life you have been living

4. It will make you want to go out and change the way our country functions, regardless of any consequences to yourself

5. If you have your heart in the right place, it will totally mind-eff you!

Maa Kasam FILMY Hai!

2006-01-25T21:44:00.000-08:00

Yup, 'tis official now. As of 1000 Hours this morning, my channel is on air. Though it won't be coming to many households right now (distribution takes its own sweet time), but I wanted to put something symbolic as the 1st movie on our channel. So, what better than Bachchan Sa'ab! Unfortunately, we don't have a good collection of Amitabh Bachchan movies in our library, but we had Dev, so its being telecast as I write this. Hope starting the channel with a movie of THE Superstar, directed by one of the best directors in the country (Govind Nihalani), will lead on to something good for us!

Pray for us guys. And yes, Jai Hind to all of you on our Republic Day!

May the Force be with you.

Is raat ki subah nahi!

2006-01-24T13:19:00.000-08:00

Its 2:50 AM??? What am I still doing in office? This really wasn't a part of my joining contract here, must have a relook at it as soon as I get the time. Ahhh, time... what time is it? 2.50 AM??? Nahiiiii Keh do yeh jhooth hai!!!

Our channel goes on air in approximately 19 hours from now. The ops guy is preparing the transmission logs for Jan 26th, I am supposed to verify that they're correct so that no wrong programming/promo/packaging element goes on-air. So, I can't leave office till he finishes his work and I go through it! Stopped doing any productive work a couple of hours ago. The fact that there are a total of 3 people in the office, and I'm the only one from our team, is not helping either.

But let's look at the brighter side- we're finally going on-air! Yipeeee!!! Had our launch press conference today (its technically yesterday now). The media was looking pretty excited about our channel, let's see what the viewers and advertisers have to say. We are the 4th Hindi movie channel in the country, so it is critical that we not only do not make mistakes, but also do a lot of innovative stuff on all fronts. So I guess I should not be cribbing about the late nights. But still, dil hai ki maanta nahi!!! Don't worry guys, won't plug the channel through my blog! Just wanted to write something so that I get some stress out of my system.

The last one month has been crazy, with violent shouting matches all around, in all possible permutation/combinations amongst our team members! Some have gone over the boundary and have become total zombies, and others like me are tottering on the edge - I sang the 1st line of 'jhalak dikhla ja...' continuously in a loop for almost 5 minutes yesterday, though it was just to get back at a colleague I was extremely irritated with!!!

But come tomorrow, and I'm sure everything will be forgotten, and we'll all be together in celebrating the birth of our baby, and praying for its success.

The future is FILMY.

Ab to aadat si...

2006-01-19T20:34:00.000-08:00

It's raining tags. Have been tagged twice in as many days, and that too by the same malefactor - AFJ. The rules:
(1) write a 100-to-200-word entry using the following words: I, me, blow job, grapes, random, power, loneliness, water, robot and blue;
(2) use these words once and only once; and of course
(3) the entry should make sense.

I'm sure I'm going to be kicked out, but then, I can always forward Kunal Kapoor's article to my boss! So, here goes...

I stood at the edge of the cliff, victorious, yet sad in all my glorious loneliness. Random thoughts crossed my mind while gazing at the deep blue water of the ocean. Was my victory real? Was true power a function of the position you achieve in an organisation, or the hearts you win in your life? Does man’s hunger for success turn him into a robot, sucking joy and happiness out of him, almost like the devil giving his soul a blow-job? He gets pleasure for an instance, but his life doesn’t seem worthwhile after that!

My friends thought that such thinking was a case of sour grapes for losers. But it affected me deeply. Suddenly, life lost its meaning. The ocean beckoned. My feet suddenly seemed to have found a life of their own and were no longer under my control. And then, there was nothing!

147 words.

May the Force be with you!

Dil dhoondhta hai...

2006-01-18T06:37:00.000-08:00

This is a first for this baby blogger! Have been tagged by AFJ. The rules of the tag (as per my copy-paste from AFJ's blog):
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Needs to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their blogs saying they’ve been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.

Since I have a channel to launch, I will not waste too much time in formalities and get straight to the point (I can already hear the mocking laughter of everyone who knows me!)

8 essential qualities in THE woman are:

1. Must be at least as mad as I am, if not more.
2. Should have a totally wacked-out sense of humour.
3. Should have a healthy respect for grammar- English as well as any other language/s she speaks! Maybe not an OCD like me... but still...!
4. Has to love and respect books.
5. Should ideally enjoy movies and music, and have a good taste in them.
6. Should not hesitate in showing her feelings- laugh as loud as she wants to, and cry whenever she feels like- being emotional is not uncool at all!
7. Should be passionate- about life, and about whatever interests and excites her.
8. Should have a conscience that is alive and kicking, and a healthy moral framework.
9. Bonus point- Has to believe in (or at least understand) my credo- 'It's the telling of the tale, and not the tale!', otherwise we'll never be able to have a proper conversation :-)

Ok, that's it! Entries invited! :-)

Don't know if this is allowed, but I really don't know 8 bloggers who haven't been tagged already, so I guess I'll leave it here and get back to my channel :-)

May the Force be with you.

Why are the young commiting suicide?

2006-01-17T02:13:00.000-08:00

Stumbled upon this amazing article by actor Kunal Kapoor in Sunday's Mid-Day. A must read for our mad generation!
article

Duh???

2006-01-06T20:46:00.000-08:00

Only twice in my entire life have I walked out of a cinema hall in the middle of a movie. The first time was in Nagpur, during my posting there 3 years ago. The movie was 'Yeh hai Jalwa', a Salman Khan starrer by David Dhawan. Its claim to fame was that it had a song called "Na main fax, na Xerox, na main computer ki floppy... Main hoon apne papa ki carbon copy!" The theatre was Sudama. Looking back, I think one of the reasons that I left during the interval was that it was peak summer, and the hall didn't have any air-conditioning (None of the halls in Nagpur do, btw)! Still, if the movie had been any good... The 2nd movie I left 30-min into it was Shabd. I'd gone for the red carpet premiere of Shabd which our channel had organized, and was watching the movie sitting on the stairs in the hall. Couldn't force myself to go through the torture for very long, and left the theatre! Last night, there was almost a 3rd occassion....

Watched '15, Park Avenue' last night. Had decent expectations from the movie, with Aparna Sen as the director, and the 'Mr. and Mrs. Iyer' pair of Rahul Bose and Konkona Sen-Sharma in the lead. But was hugely disappointed (actually, disappointed is too mild a word)! Thought I'll write a couple of lines about it today, but my resolve was concretized when Mayank Shekhar, the Mumbai Mirror film reviewer, gave it 4 stars today! The movie is a farce. Nothing wrong with the story idea- it's about a schizophrenic(Konkona), who lives with her elder sister Shabana Azmi. Interesting subject, but Ms. Sen managed to make a total mess of it. The acting was horrendous- you've got to see Shabana in this movie to see how a brilliant actress in Hindi can be a terrible one in English! Kanwaljit as one of her suitors was speaking with such an artificial accent that I felt like pulling my hair out! Konkona was good in parts, Rahul Bose slept through the movie!The situations were contrived, the treatment over-the-top! In parts, it was like watching a horror movie! Ms. Sen tries her best to manipulate viewers by squeezing in stuff like a gang-rape, even though it wasn't adding too much to the movie. And the ending.... Ohhh the ending!!! You have to see it to believe it. Have not seen such a wannabe intellectual attempt in a long time(not since Shabd actually)!

I am not a movie critic, I don't know how to write a review. All I know is that a good movie is one which has a tale well-told, with good performances by everyone. I do not have Mayank Shekhar's talent and skill for evaluating good cinema... and I thank God for it! Otherwise, I would never have been able to enjoy 'Main Hoon Na' so much, and, like him, would have rated it as one of the worst films ever made!

2005 in review - Bollywood

2006-01-01T20:06:00.000-08:00

With 2005 safely out of the way, methinks 'tis time now to do a small review of the year's best, and the worst- in a few selected categories. Am obviously starting with Bollywood. So, here goes...

Best Movies(in no particular order):

Hazaaron Khwaaishein Aisi: For a powerful script on the emrgency era, and the rise of the Naxalite movement, strong performances by Shiney Ahuja, Chitrangada Singh, and Kay Kay, and for bringing back classical music to Hindi films.
Saher: The surprise package of the year. A realistic portrayal of the rise of the land-mafia in eastern UP, with no-frills treatment, a subdued performance by Arshad Warsi, and for introducing the word 'varchaswa' to the lexicon of those lucky people who've seen this movie.
My Brother Nikhil: An emotional journey more than anything else, Onir's movie on AIDS left the audience in tears. Again, a movie straight from the heart, and to the heart.
Iqbal: A classic tale of the triumph of the under-dog, against all odds. The combination of cricket, Naseer, Shreyas Talpade, and 'aashaayein' was too powerful to not succed in winning people over!
Parineeta: Read the book recently, the movie deviates from the original in a lot of areas. But then, who cares? When Vidhu Vinod Chopra makes a movie, he ensures that it is a tale well-told(even though he was just producing this one). The movie worked because of Saratchandra's story, Shantanu Moitra's beautiful music, Saif's performance, and above all, Vidya Balan!
Black: Beautiful, touching, heart-rending, and for some critice - over-the-top. Whatever it was, I came out of the theatre dazed: by Amitabh's phenomenal performance, the girl Ayesha's superb acting, and Sanjay Leela Bhansali's painting of this beautiful picture.
Sarkar: Again, a movie panned by many, it worked for me because of Amitabh and Abhishek's deadly combo, Kay Kay's intensity, the background score, slick editing, and Ram Gopal Varma.
Page 3: For daring to peep into the real world beneath the glitz and glamour of our Page 3 animal kingdom.

Discovery of the year- Male: Three contenders

Randeep Hooda in 'D'
Mohit Ahlawat in James
Shiney Ahuja in 'Hazaaron...'

Randeep and Mohit's roles involved uni-dimensional acting- just portray intensity on screen, so I think it's too early to judge their true worth. Shiney Ahuja, for me, was the true find of the year. He is a natural, and was rocking in his debut movie. He might not become a big star due to his slightly unconventional looks, but he sure deserves to get much better work. Amongst others, even though he is not a newcomer, Kay Kay cleaned up the year with Hazaaron..., Sarkar, and Main, Meri Patni Aur Woh!

Discovery of the year- Female:

No contest- Vidya Balan all the way. Notable mention: Chitrangada Singh in 'Hazaaron...'.

Duds of the year:

Kisna
Kaal

Both were equally bad and boring. Mangal Panday -The Rising is missing because I haven't seen it and so won't comment on it!

Paisa Vasool Scene of the year:

Shilpa Shetty's flying round-toss kick in 'Dus', and Salman Khan playing the 'been' to the snake while hanging from a cliff, in 'No Entry'.

This wraps up my take on Bollywood in 2005. Will be back soon with Hollywood!

Cheers!

Nav Varsh ki Shubhkamnaayein!

2005-12-30T05:34:00.000-08:00

All right guys, am off tonight for Pune, to bring in 2006 in the city where I spent two of the happiest years of my life (my MBA)! May the Force be with all of you! Be honest to yourself, be fair, and make merry throughout the year!

Cheers!

Dilli Dilwaalon Ki

2005-12-27T05:54:00.000-08:00

Dear Diary,

I returned from Delhi yesterday morning, and still haven't recovered from the hangover. During the 3 days that I was there, I realized how much I missed my hometown, and how happy that city makes me, especially in the amazing winters! Along with the cold winters come a lot of fringe benefits- Hot street food tastes much better, you get to eat peanuts while lazing in the sun, many seasonal fruits and vegetables like radish and oranges are available, the days become much shorter and it gets extremely foggy(a benefit if you enjoy the cold), you can enjoy Vodka or Rum better... I could go on andon!

Well, the trip itself was extremely hectic but great fun. The flight was 2 hours late, so I reached Delhi at 2 AM, and home at 2.30. The fog started the night I reached Delhi. Left early morning and was on the road till 8 at night along with ouroutdoors agency, travelling across the length and breadth of Delhi, Gurgaon, Noida, and Ghaziabad, selecting outdoors sites. Saw parts of Delhi that I did'nt even know existed, would have seen more places that I had seen cumulatively in Delhi till date. Well, slight exagerration, but you get the picture!That night, went to a friend's place and we went out in the cold to eat some street food. Had delicious aalu-tikki and aalu chaat. Relived my growing up years!!!

Worked throughout the day on Saturday, and in the evening(Christmas eve), went to catch up with some old friends, with whom I was sharing a placewhen I was working in Nagpur. Had a marvellous time, drinking and singing throughout the night! Haven't laughed that much ina long time!

On my last day in Delhi, i.e. Sunday, I fulfilled another long-pending dream- I travelled by the Delhi Metro. When I left Delhi4 years ago, it was still being constructed, and for the last couple of years since it has been in operation, I've never been able to travel by one. This time,I had to look at some Branding options on Metro stations so I went to some stations and travelled by the trains. It was heavenly after travelling in Delhi by autos with drivers out to fleece you, and over-crowded and slow moving buses! That evening, went to a Bikaner Sweet Shop and had aaloo tikkis, samosas and jalebis! Yum Yum!

But the icing on the cake was the incident that happened on my way back.I had an early morning flight, so I left home at 5.15AM. No autos in sight. After 10 minutes of wait, saw an auto coming my way and flagged it. The auto already had two passengers- with dhotis, faces covered by shawls et al- the typical Jat Delhiite, but I was desperate and I agreed to share the space with them. I asked the driver if I would have to travel like that throughout the half-hour journey, and he replies- "Nahin saab, bas in dono ko Central Jail chhodh doon, phir seedha airport chalenge"!!! Experienced a different kind of chill for the rest of the journey till they got down!

Thankfully, the flight was delayed by only half an hour, the fog having cleared in time!

All in all, a great experience!

As the great Lord Budhha said- " Dilli dilwaalon ki"!

Cheers!

Hum to jaate apne gaaon...

2005-12-22T04:29:00.000-08:00

All right, this one's going to be a real quicky! I'm going home... to Delhi. Leaving in a couple of hours. Sarkari(read official) tour-taar, as they say back home in Delhi! Had been dying to go at least for a day, just to see the Delhi winters again- and I'll be there for 3 whole days!!! Gawd, agar aur kuchh maanga hota to woh bhi mil jaata:-)

Main Tumhare Bacche Ki Maa Banne Waali Hoon!

2005-12-17T01:54:00.000-08:00

This hugely cliched and highly cult dialogue from umpteen Hindi movies in the '70s and '80s was a source of great tension for me yesterday. No guys, don't get shocked! No 'abla naari' said it to me in an accusing tone :-) Let me start at the beginning...

We're making an AV presentation for our channel, and my friend Kunal, who's handling the project, wanted some scenes from movies where this dialogue is used. Now I have a reputation of being a Bollywood trivia freak, so he called me up to name some movies, fully expecting me to rattle off the names of 10-15 such movies immediately. But imagine his consternation, and my embarrasment, when I couldn't come up with a single name. We make fun of this dialogue so routinely, that we've never realized that we may not have seen it as many times as we think we have!

Anyways, I had a reputation to live up to, so I got cracking. The net obviously didn't throw up anything. Another colleague came up with 'Meri Jung', in which some sidey actress says this to Jaaved Jaffrey! The dreaded call came. I gave him Meri Jung as an option, and became silent. "And...", asks Kunal. "Can't think of any other movie right now, but i'm on the job, don't worry", was my reply. Does the dialogue come after the Roop Tera Mastaana song in Aradhana, asked Kunal. I was clutching at straws now. Yeah Yeah, I think it's there. Then, 2 other hopefuls came to me: Deewar(Parveen Babi to Amitabh, towards the end of the movie), Shakti(Smita Patil to Amitabh). Try these na, you'll definitely get something, I tell Kunal, and hang up!

10 in the night, Kunal calls again. "I need more options!" Gawd, why can't he just change the concept if he can't find the scene!!! Two final options came to my head- Raakhi in Yash Chopra's 'Daag', and Anil Kapoor's sister to Hema Malini's son in 'Jamai Raja'. Try these, I tell Kunal, pukka kuchh milega!

Arrived in office this morning, dreading the thought of facing the world if the dialogue wasn't there in any of the movies that i'd proposed. Kunal straightaway took me to the edit room and started the AV. "Main tumhaare bachhe ki Maa banne waali hoon"- Raakhi to Prem Chopra. The movie- Daag!!! Yesssss!!!! I can look at myself in the mirror again! But only just!

The End of a Culture!

2005-12-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

"Bakhshi, what do the lyrics of this song mean?", asked Namita, a colleague. The song in question was the extremely popular Punjabi pop no.- 'Kala Chashma'. She asked me because I, being a Punju, am supposed to know my language. I asked her to play the 1st two lines again, was able to understand the broad meaning of it and give her some schpiel about what it meant. But the exact meaning of specific words- naaah!!! This set me thinking on a something which has been troubling me for quite some time- Is this the end of our culture?

For a long time now, I have taken great pride in calling myself a 'global villager'(if the world has become a village, that makes us villagers, right?)! Cosmopolitan outlook, living in a multicultural environment, and just assimilating into it, leaving your own ethnic identity behind. Never really thought if I had an option but to become an integral part of the crowd. But still, the thought keeps nagging me- what of my culture, my roots?

Let's take an example. My grandfather, born and brought up in the Pakistani part of Punjab, knew five languages- Punjabi, Urdu, Persian, Hindi, and English. My father knows four(all of the above except Persian). And yours truly??? Hindi and English, that's all. I can understand and speak some tooti-phooti Punjabi, but...! And it's not just me, I look around at people around me, and the situation is the same everywhere. It's not a problem with me, it's a problem with a whole generation, it's just that some of us just haven't realized the seriousness of it. I sometimes wonder- If I ever get married, my parents, aunts, uncles etc. will be there to sing traditional folk songs, will know all the rituals which have been a part of our heritage for centuries, the whole atmosphere will be distinctly Punju. Cut to the marriage of my children(hypothetical scenario- If I ever get married, and subsequently, If I ever have children)- who is going to know anything at all about any song or ritual, we hardly know enough of the language to ask for water!
Another generation later, the whole rustic, earthy Punju culture would have died out, in my family, and in many other families who have become a part of this cosmo-culture.

Scary??? I really don't know what can be done about it, but maybe there's still time. Maybe we will no longer be ashamed or afraid of using our mother tongue in a city like Bombay. Maybe we are too old to learn, but we can ensure that our children listen to a lot of our language at home, they learn to read it, write it, speak it and understand it, just like they would learn English or Hindi. Maybe people will appreciate that instead of(or in addition to) teaching French/German to their kids as a status symbol, they should teach them their mother tongue. After all, the destiny of a centuries-old culture depends on it! Cheers!

The importance of 'bitching'

2005-11-26T12:20:00.000-08:00

Bitching- It's a term which is much abused, and looked down upon in large parts of our society. It's supposed to be something sinful, something that you should feel guilty about! This post is an attempt to explore this phenomenon. Statutory Warning: This post in no way purports to be a sociological or psychological article, the idea just came after an early morning office bitching session with a friend! So read on...

I am yet to meet anyone who doesn't like gossiping about other people, it's not possible cos such people do not exist. You might be a closet 'bitcher', but you certainly are one, trust me! So what exactly is this bitching, and is there something like 'good/harmless' bitching and 'bad/evil' bitching?

Did some basic research on the net- bitching is a slang for 'complaining or whining' about someone. Now, we all have problems with people or situations. We are not always in a position to do something about it due to various constraints- the person could have some power over us(say, Boss/teacher), the person could be someone whom you don't want to aggravate(a colleague), or maybe you are just someone who always wants to avoid a conflict. In such cases, whatever it was that made you uncomfortable, will keep building up inside you. You will keep fretting about it, but only in your own head. The pressure will keep going up, and one fine day, you will just take it all out on that person, with possibly, dire consequences for yourself and your relationship. Now consider the alternative scenario. You have a reason to complain, you bitch about it to a friend. The pressure is released from your system, much like that through a safety valve in a pressure cooker(btw, this is not original, the British used this theory to encourage the creation of the Indian National Congress in 1885)! So, what on earth is wrong with it???

I do agree that like all other things, there can be different dimensions to bitching. The above example was the good/harmless therapeutic kind. Another harmless kind of bitching is when two friends talk about some incident involving a third person. Again, it results in good fun for the 2 people, without harming the 3rd in any way. But the kind of bitching responsible for giving a bad name to the whole genre is one in which you bad-mouth a person behind his/her back with a specific objective- to reposition(in a negative way) the person in the eyes of another, for either personal or professional reasons. I really can't(and don't want to) find any reasons/justification for this variety. It'll suffice to say that there are all kinds of people, and to each his own, as long as he's not messing around with my life!!!

Pray tell me, how can something that is in the basic intrinsic nature of all humans, which provides us with so much pleasure, which is such an amazing de-stresser, be a sin??? Can the very benefits of bitching be responsible for it being considered sinful(sex and chocolate being two other such examples)? I have no answers. But anyways, it hardly makes any difference if it's a a sin or not. We shall bitch on the beaches, we shall bitch on the landing grounds, we shall bitch in the fields and in the fields and in the streets... we shall never surrender!!!

Happy Birday Purva

2005-11-21T17:29:00.000-08:00

I vividly remember the day you were born. Still brings back painful memories:-) I was in office when I cameto know that Bhabhi had given birth to a bonny girl. In the evening, just outside the hospital, I, in my excitement, missed my footing on the road divider, resulting in a broken foot! Happy Birday Purva! Two months of painful limping followed, but don't worry, I forgave you long ago for this :-)

Never really saw you grow up. When I left Delhi, you were just 1.5 years old, hardly speaking anything except basic words, and hadn't even started walking. So, I missed your first steps, missed your first 'grammaticaly correct' sentence, missed your first day in pre-school, missed your first day in a proper school, and missed all your last 4 birthdays, including this one.

Your demands also kept changing from year to year. When I was in Nagpur, you used to demand oranges when I came to Delhi. When I was in Bangalore, you asked me for a doll. Then, for the last year or so, you have simply been asking me to get you a chachi!

You turn 5 today. In another couple of years, you will be surfing the net('tis a futuristic tech-savvy generation, unlike your Chachu's). And hopefully, you will visit my blog and read this post in the archives. Just want you to know that even though I've hardly spent any time with you, it has in no way reduced my love for you. Your smallest wish is still my command, and I will keep pampering you whenever I get the opportunity. Guess it is another long-distance relationship both of us better get used to! Wish you a very happy and rocking birthday. May the Force be with you, forever!

Quotable quotes and poetry-shoetry

2005-11-18T16:32:00.000-08:00

Feel like writing, but as usual, have started writing without having a clue as to what I am going to write on. Was having a casual discussion with a couple of friends in office. The subject- how easy or difficult it is to create a quotable quote. I was of the firm opinion that these life related gyaan waale quotes can be made by anyone, anytime. Kunal got senti and started disputing it. So, out of sheer stupid bravado, I asked him to give me 4 random words, using which I would make a quote.

The bet was on. The 'basket' gave me these 4 words: Films, Monkeys, Jaguar, Laughing'. And this is what yours truly came up with:

"Watching films helps humans evolve
like from monkeys to man,
Similarly, what differentiates men from jaguars,
is their ability of laughing to relieve stress"

I obviously am no Wordsworth!

But this whole stunt was inspired by Amir Khusro, one of the greatest poets in Hindi language. The 4 words given to him were: Kheer, Charkha, Kutta, and Dhol. This is what the master came up with...

"Kheer pakaayi jatan se,
Charkha diya jala,
aaya kutta kha gaya,
tu baithi dhol baja"

Sheer genius!!!

Hari Puttar aur Aag Ka Pyaala

2005-11-15T12:52:00.000-08:00

All right, show-off time. The worldwide release of the 4th edition of Harry Potter happens to be on November 18th, right? Well, I saw it last night at the premiere! Am so happy and excited.

Expectations from the movie were huge, especially since the book marks a gear-shift in terms of darkness, what with introduction to the 'Unforgivable Curses', the deadly Triwizards Tournament, the return of He-who-must-not-be-named, oh what the heck- Lord Voldermot and his loyal deatheaters, and the death of a student at Hogwarts!

The movie surely lived up to all my expectations. Director Mike Newell has done full justice to the book, by bringing to life the sheer magic and scale of Hogwarts, the tourney, the Yule Ball, the dragons, the Quidditch World Cup et al. The build-up is superb, and the climax mind-blowing. The only weak link is Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter- the guy can't act to save his life(which he often needs to!) But all-in-all a great adventure.

It will be unfair if I end this post without thanking my friend Divya, who not only arranged for the passes, but also ensured that we go and watch the movie, even though she herself had to drop out! May the Great Lord Budhha bless her!

Mostly about Measure For Measure

2005-11-10T11:45:00.000-08:00

Watched a different kind of play last night- Shakespeare's Measure For Measure, performed by complicite, a British theatre group. It was staged at Prithvi, as a part of the annual Prithvi Fest. The show was totally sold out, something that none of the 3 big Diwali releases of Bollywood could achieve! Anyways, got into the theatre, and the play started at 9.30ish. The only problem was, for the first 10 minutes, couldn't understand anything at all. Trying to decipher what the angrez log were saying in their heavy accents, in addition to the Bard's strange language(all right, I've commited another blasphemy, go on, sue me) was a full time task for my poor sleep deprived brain!

But things changed once the plot started developing. The accents started sounding ekdum apne jaisi, the language like sweet music- and the only reason was the amazing performance by the cast of the play. Everyone was so into the character that it was almost as if you were watching a real-life drama being played out in front of you. Angelo, the 'bad guy'- the puritan who is forced to surrender to his carnal desires, leading him on a self-destructive path; the nun whom Angelo is lusting after, who has to decide between her body and her brother's life; the brother who, out of sheer desperation to save his life, asks his sister to sleep with Angelo; and a host of other totally real characters brought to life by the vivid performances!

The play ended with a standing ovation of course, and while going back, we saw two of the lead actors in the play walking down to their hotel around a Km away, with school bags on their backs! Loverlllyyyy!!!

p.s. For those of you who have been following the development of my insomnia, some good news- have been able to catch around 5 hours sleep for the last two nights. Guess am on my way back to a normal life! Cheers!

Mujhe neend na aaye...

2005-11-08T16:46:00.000-08:00

Literally! Am damn scared, haven't slept a wink for the last two nights. Never had such a bad case of insomnia in my life. Am a zombie right now, working on auto-pilot. Would like nothing more than going home and hitting the sack right now, but kya karein, as the great Lord Budhha said, " Paapi pet ka sawaal hai." I've been wondering as to what could be the possible reasons? One normal reason is tension, but there has not been any undue upsurge in that department in the last couple of days to justify this condition! Haven't been drinking heavily and going to bed(which could be another reason)! Then what???

What is happening is that I lie down and my brain goes straight into overdrive and starts whizzing around the world. Basically a sort of hyperactivity of the brain! Don't know why it cannot do it's 'tourism thing' during the day, like normal brains! Was discussing this with a friend, and she suggested having warm milk just before going to bed. Will try this 'daadi ma ka nuskha' tonight, let's see what'll happen.

You might wonder ki insomnia is not something to be so scared of. I beg to differ. As I had mentioned in one of my previous posts, I'd watched Fight Club during the Diwali holidays. Anybody who's watched the movie will empathise with me I am sure. As another friend asked me today after I'd discussed this with him- "How do you know that I even exist, and am not a creation of your imagination?" Good point... one can never be sure!

Good night everyone, and I hope that it's a good night for me!

Zorro or Vijay? Ram Jaane!

2005-11-04T23:14:00.000-08:00

Saw the late night show of The Legend of Zorro yesterday. It's so hilariously pathetic that it's not even funny. Looked like a rehash of a lot of Hindi movies, especially Amitabh classics. There's a scene in which Zorro comes to the church and asks God soem questions- straight out of Deewar- Khush to bahut hoge tum aaj!!! Then there's a daaru pee(Hindi) ke galli mein padhe hue khud se baatein karne ka scene- Anthony Gonsalves anyone? There's even a scene in which Zorro's son, who is not aware of his mild-mannered father's true identity, asks him- "Have you ever fought with anyone in ur life?" Pls tell me how this was not a direct lift from 'Hum' where Govinda and Rajnikanth ask ex-Tiger the same question!!!

Anyways, no formula was left untouched, resulting in a mish-mash of a movie. Was hugely disappointed. Looks like ages since I saw a good English movie, the last few weeks have given us stuff like Red Eye, Flight Plan, and now Zorro. Am eagerly awaiting 'Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire', as well as 'The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe'. Hope to Gawd these two movies can save the 2nd half of 2005. Cheers to that!

Bas... aur chutti nahi!

2005-11-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

Gawd, never thought i'd get tired of holidays. But this has been one crazy week. Had holidays on Tue, Wed, and Fri officially, and today I maaroed chhutti jlt. Have been sitting at home alone, vegetating, for the last 3 days(except for Diwali nite, when I went to a friend's place and binged). Everybody had told me, go home for Diwali, yahaan akela kya karega(all my friends have gone to their respective 'muluks'), but no, Mr. Bakhshi knows best. Ab bhugto!!! But i guess vegetating has it's merits- have been making good use of the time in my own way. Been catching up on my reading, finished off a couple of agatha christies, and a new SFF novel called The Lightening Thief, in addition to a Wodehouse and 2 Just Williams. Also caught a lot of tv, watched Hot Shots Part one and deux back 2 back on AXN, and Fight Club and U-Turn on DVD.

All in all, not too bad a deal. Of course would have loved some human company over these holidays, but then, u win some, lose some!

Musings on Diwali!

2005-10-28T02:54:00.000-07:00

Another Diwali is here, another festival away from home, another 'occassion' spent doing nothing in Bombay. Would've loved to be back home in Delhi this time, cos I have the time and there's no mad work pressure, but...

So, why am I in Bombay this Diwali? Well, things are not always as simple as they seem. Going home right now will mean my getting slightly more than ghar ka khana and maa-baap ka pyaar! It is the nightmare of all chronic bachelors, it is called shaadi ka pressure.

Have been successfully avoiding getting into the marriage trap for a couple of years now. There is no method- Saam Daam Dand or Bhed, that my parents have not tried. But now, we have reached a stage where if I go to Delhi, I will be forced to 'see' at least a couple of girls. My Gawd!!! The very thought sends shivers up my spine! It's such a retrogade, imperfect, inane practice. How on earth am I supposed to evaluate a woman(and vice verse) in a single(or even a couple of) meetings? Will I ever be able to work up the courage to ever say yes, or worse, no to a girl? Extremely scary proposition!

So, I guess Bombay's the place to be this Diwali. Will hurt a bit, but the pros far outweigh the cons! And keep searching for that elusive 'perfect woman'! There she is... No it isn't...

Of Phantom and Social Service

2005-10-26T00:03:00.000-07:00

Made a serendipitous discovery last evening. Mann thodha vichalit ho raha tha, so i started surfing the net for online issues of Phantom comics, when i stumbled upon this blog called thecomicproject. On this site, the guy has put up scanned copies of Indrajal Comics, published 20-22 years ago. Just imagine, a 30 page comic, scanned page by page, and uploaded on the net. And he's put up more than a 100 comics on it till now, the project continues. Think how painstakingly he would have had to work, every week, to upload one issue of 'just a comic' on the site!

Was wondering as to what could possibly be the motivation of such people. He is not getting any money out of this(the download is free), he is not standing for any public office, he has not even mentioned his name. While I am fundamentally against piracy of any kind (I don't download music/movies from the net, nor do i watch pirated DVDs), this case is an exception for the simple reason that these comics are not available in the market any more. So, even if you have oodles of moolah, you just can't buy an Indrajal Comic today. I personally would categorize this whole project as a social service in the true sense of the word- much better than what publicity hungry page 3 celebs do for the benefit of the camera!

Got extremely senti while going through the site. I have some of these comics at home, they are a part of my childhood, my growing up experience, and the site helped me reclaim a part of it! There is still hope for the world till people like tcp are there, working for it's betterment. Cheers to his ilk, may they grow and prosper! Ciao!

Kuchh Bhi!

2005-10-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

Feel like writing something, have no idea about what I am going to write, hence the title! Have been on a 'What is the purpose of my existence?' trip since the last few days. Don't know what triggered this, but honi ko kaun taal sakta hai. So coming to the critical Mudda-The Issue, what IS the purpose of my existence?

I thought and I thought, and I arrived upon an amazing conclusion- I have no idea. And more importantly, I don't think it is necessary to have a larger purpose in life always. Was talking to a colleague yesterday on this. He very apologetically told me that unlike everyone around us, he really does not have a larger dream or passion driving him. He just wants to enjoy his life while it lasts, and while he can. So he could be cutting promos for a channel(like he is currently doing) or simply leading the life of a wastrel, high on dope, living on his dad's money. Guess he has a point. Too often, we take life a bit too seriously, and get too tensed up about a 'higher purpose', 'THE GOAL' or other esoteric philosophies. But in all this, we totally neglect our present life. Our basic duty being making ourselves happy, every moment, every day, seems like a good enough philosophy to a 'humble farmer' like me!

I don't know about my 'purpose', but there's surely a lot of stuff that I want to do before the celestial tax man cometh to collect me! Make a movie, write a book, enter politics, teach, act in a play... but is any of this my 'true calling'- I have no clue! We'll cross the bridge when we reach it!

Calvin galore!

2005-10-17T22:38:00.000-07:00

Indulged in a beautiful sin over the weekend. Bought myself the complete Calvin & Hobbes collection. Cost me a bomb- 6.5 K, but it's worth every penny of it. A lot of people in office came up to me yesterday(I'd ordered the books on the net and recd them in office) and politely enquired if I had gone off my rocker. Really didn't know how to respond. What, and how, do I explain to people what books mean to me? Will they understand the importance of Calvin in my life? Will they appreciate that when the chips are down and the burden is heavy, it's Calvin & Hobbes who embrace me and welcome me to their magical world. A world where imagination runs wild, where dreams come true, where a six year old lives life the way he wants to(well almost, at least in his own world)!!!

Nope, I don't think they would've understood. So I just smiled and didn't say anything.

Aakhir Kyon?

2005-10-17T02:17:00.000-07:00

Another blog? who needs it? why? Here are some answers... but only as many as I choose to provide! Was motivated to create a blog of my own by my friend Devyani, who's my consultant on all matters technical, specifically related to the net. I still haven't made up my mind as to how and how often am I going to use this blog, but as the great lord Budhha said, "Ki fark painda hai?"

The name of my blog is derived from my philosophy in life- 'Jagah Dil mein Honi Chahiye'. Quite often, we allow our lives to be constrained by minor limitations- my philosophy is the answer to all of them.

Till I feel like writing again, njoy!